My life in a nutshell - Part One

Okay, so its telling me that without being an upgraded user i cant do a book. So i guess i'll just do a bunch of these things. I'm new at this, so you'll have to bear with me here.. Lets start off at my name.. Im lindsay, though you may already know that. And my life hasnt been boring thats for sure. Up until a few years ago though, I thought everything that happened to me was normal, and happened to everyone my age.. Boy was I wrong. It all started when I was very young.. about 2. My mom and dad got a divorce. ( no i dont remember that but it really is when it started ) My dad moved to Virginia Beach, and my mom and I stayed in Frederick. I saw my dad on major holidays and a few times throughout the year, but not as much as i would have liked to. My mom and I were always very close, and i am very grateful for that. For a few years, my mom dated a bunch of guys.. never really stuck to anyone, and her and I lived with my grandmother. Then she met T.J... this is when it really gets good. They dated for a while, and then it started getting serious. My mom and him rented a house out in Brunswick. He had 4 kids, versus my mom only having one, me. His kids switched around, sometimes living with us, and sometimes living with their mother in Philadelphia. My mom and TJ were in love, but they were two totally different people. My mom was not a heavy drinker..at all. TJ was.. he was an alcoholic..to the fullest extent. My mom saw this, but did nothing because she loved him..and it wasnt so bad, they argued but it never got bad. Until one night, they got into an argument and my mom said her and I were going to stay at her mothers. He slammed her up against a wall and took her keys. My memory of this is a little vague because i was so young, but somehow my mom got her keys and we went. That night, TJ got trashed, and took his son, and his iguana, and left.. they got into a car accident almost killing both of them. Once this happened i guess my mom felt bad and so she went to be by their sides. We moved back into the house.

TJ's parents were very close to us. His father and I were a little too close. I remember I was 7 years old, and whenever we would go over to his parents house, his dad would want me to sit on his lap to "watch the game". I did as he said because he was a great guy, we got along great and i didnt know any better. Well every time I was over there, and no one was around, he was molesting me. I dont remember EVERYTHING, but i specifically remember two or three times..... the one time, we were in his basement, "watching the game", and he just stuck his hands in my pants and "played". I didnt particularly like this, but i was too young to know it was wrong. Another time i remember was when him, TJ, and I were in his truck, and i wanted to drive. So he put me up on his lap to let me help him steer, and I had overalls on, and he once again, stuck his hands down my pants. TJ was sitting right next to us, and he basically watched it happen, and said NOTHING. This happened, over and over for a few years before I decided I had had enough. One night my mom, TJ, and I had just returned home from his parents house, and I went up to them and said "I dont want to go to grandma and granpas anymore" TJ immediatley looked at me and said "is it because of something Grandpa is doing to you" and before i even had the chance to shake my head, TJ was out the door. After that, Grandpa never spoke to me again.. A few years later, he died of cancer. I never found out what TJ did that night. My guess is he went over there and flipped out or something. But what gets me is why he didnt do something when he saw it happening? Why did he wait until I came to him and said something? I guess I'll never know.

After all of this happened, mom and TJ's arguments got worse, TJ's drinking got worse, and we all ended up going our seperate ways. Mom and I went back to living at her moms, and TJ got a condo not too far from where we were. This lasted a few years. Then, when I was halfway through my 5th grade year, mom came to me with news. Apparentley we had a dinner date and someone wanted to see me. I had no idea what was going on, but i was excited of course. So we went to pizza hut and who is there? TJ.. i was pissed off because over the years i had grown not to like him very much. Needless to say after that date, only a few weeks went by before we were going over to TJ's place and staying the weekend, and going out to eat all the time. After that, mom came to me with some more news. We were moving...again. Yippie fuckin skippie right? This time it was to Hagerstown. I was really upset, for a few reasons. One, I loved being at my grandmas house, she was my 2nd favorite person in the world.. and Two, I loved being number one in moms life. When TJ was around, i got less attention. She always made me number one no matter what, but i wanted ALL of her attention. At this time i knew nothing about being in love. All of my feelings changed though when I saw this house. It was HUGE. I had my own "clubhouse" in the backyard, and my closet in my room was as big as a normal size bathroom. It was quite a difference compared to living with my grandma. So, we moved..

To Be Continued......