Praying for my own Demise

Praying for my Own Demise (A tale of Suicide)

I just want to die and I dont know why.
Slowly my hearts turned darker than the jet black sky.
I've played my own funeral in my head before.
1,000's of people, no empty seats till the door.
I've prayed for death and my existence to cease.
The Grim Reaper has my soul and his sickle won't release.
Wearing a mask over my face instead of fear.
My life pours down the sink while I stare in the mirror.
I vomit my feelings out and flush them through shit.
Drowning my sorrows away in blood flooded spit.
I'll delight in the color of liquid spilling from my writsts.
Maybe if you lived my life, the gist you'd get.
Sadly you have no clue what it's like to be me.
And at this rate of blood exiting, you'll finally see.
The things you want I just don't need.
Fuck, i'm still standing, bleed bitch bleed.
God! Why can't you let me out of this place.
I've done nothing but sin and your name disgraced.
At least I tried, I've never ceased in that.
Memorizing your scriputure, in the pews I sat.
Failing every time that I tried to succeed.
Killing your creation will inevitably be my last deed.
Suicidal thoughts have plagued me since birth.
My lungs are being suffocated by this hell we call earth.
I'm a self-loathing fuck up with an empty future.
If it's your will that i'm here, then let my wrists suture.
Painful or quick let the end be soon.
This will be my last night under your brooding moon.
Couldn't anyone see I needed a hand.
My lifes slipping through the cracks like grains of sand.
Nothing to gain and wanting to lose.
Please excuse me Lord, as i tighten this noose.