Loveless

Laying on my bed asleep, the billowing curtains at my feet, like a dream catcher eating away my fantasies, I toss and turn and my lips are bloody. I've bit them too hard in exasperation and it drips onto the black hole floor.

The eyes to my room filter out the melting wax moon and weep ivy down trellises as dark as the blankets I grip so tightly in swollen fingers. A midnight song awaken's me from a virgin fairy's mouth, red as memories stained in time.

To beckon me to worship a false mirror. To beg me to lick the tears and sweat pooling around the hollow's of a broken face. I am forlorn, but will not be deceived. Standing up on wooden legs, a puppet pulled by poisoned nerves, I sense the sensuality in every word.

"Just run away, back into the night," the moondust carries my voice to fill the night.

"With nowhere to run where can you hide?" the voice seems pulled in every which way as if there is something to hide.

"I am love." It says.

"You do not exist. Every emotion leads to the body, a natural impulse we all seem to have."

"I don't exist do I? Than why is your heart beating needles and threads, attempting to heal deep wounds?"

"My heart is beating silver and gold. It's attempting to find solace and truth."

"Than why are you here, painted boy? If I do not exist than maybe you don't either."

Ten pounds of lead fill my stomach, the dreaded realization I knew I was always to find lighting up my soulless eyes. Diamond tears sprinkle around me and disappear, eaten by the hungry floor.

"You may leave now," I say through the eyes of my room, and through the mouth which never once gasped for a single breath, always open in smothered agony.

"Take your eyes from me and I shall leave. Warnings are fruitless and endings are futile."

"What do you mean?"

"Goodbyes never remain," whispers from the painted trees and the razorblade grass surround me as I turn away, "They will always come back."

And as I walk back to my bed, feeling every ounce of pain the words injected into my diluted veins I feel as if I don't exist... But the floorboards creek under me with every step. I just might fall into hell...