Hopes, Fears, and Tears

I sat next to him as the wind blew through both our hair. The gold, orange, and red leaves fell in our laps. I could hardly speak for fear of interrupting this perfect moment. His big blue eyes seemed so full of despair. I had to say something. I wanted to know what went on in that complex mind of his. “Something bothering you, love?” I asked. He stared at me. “Please, tell me what’s wrong,” I repeated.
“I have to go. My plane leaves tomorrow. I would love to stay here and spend Halloween with you like we had planned, but the situation is out of my control. I will think about you every day that I am gone. I love you. Don’t forget that.”
My eyes filled with heavy tears. I wanted to say how much I loved him too, or that I understand his situation. That didn’t happen. The only thing that could come out was, “Why?” The wind was blowing and made my face cold after the warm tears fell down it. He must have sensed that I was cold and hurting. He held me close. I sat there in his arms crying for an hour.
I went with him the next day to watch his departure. I held myself together until he got on the plane. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. When the plane went into the sky, it looked so small. He was really gone. The airport had sounds of crying babies and frustrated people who lost their baggage in claims. I couldn’t hear any of it though. Everything I had was focused on him. There would be no more traditional freak out Halloween parties like there had been for the past ten years. He told me to go ahead and throw the party, but I’m not sure if that is possible. I have to try though. I must do it for him if nothing else.
I set up for the party on Halloween night. I was to be Sally, but my Jack was not even in this country. Every little thing reminded me of him. All of those cheesy decorations that we had once made when we were young still hung scattered across the house. I still remember working on that painted, paper, pumpkin when we were small. I am surprised it made it this long. The one eye was missing and the stem was falling off, but we both loved it all the same. It took me three hours in total to set up. About half of that was spent in tears.
As the guests started to arrive, I tried my best to put on a happy face. It was so weird to spend Halloween without him. Although so many people were in the house, it seemed so empty. It was as if Santa Clause had been missing from the mall on Christmas eve. I wanted so much to enjoy myself. I wanted to take in all of the wonderfully constructed costumes and amazingly done make-up. I had so many people ask me, “So, Sally, where is your Jack.” It was all I could do not to cry. I went through the party and the only thing that kept the tears from falling was ironically the reason they wanted to fall in the first place.
I attempted to call him directly after the party, but my plans were put to a halt when another man answered the phone. “Who is this?” I questioned.
“Officer Jackson. I am with the local police department. Are you Emily Stark?”
“Yes, yes I am, Officer,” I replied in a nervous voice.
“There has just been an accident.” I remember his voice so vividly. It was strong and courageous. It somehow calmed my beating heart just a bit. “We think his friend was driving under the influence. Ms. Stark, I am sorry to inform you, but he is dead.”