Here With Me Now

“What do you mean we can’t be together?” I asked with tears coming to my eyes.
“Sarah, I don’t feel the way about you that you feel about me.” Nick said looking at me for the first time since our conversation had begun.
“Are you sure that’s what you mean?” I asked looking deep into his eyes.
“Yeah. Sarah I’m sure. It’s over.” Nick replied taking my hand.
“Nick, I don’t think you’re breaking up with me because you don’t feel the same way. I think you’re breaking up with be because you do.” I said.
“Do what?” Nick asked.
“You say it’s over because you feel the exact same way about me. It’s because you’ve never felt this way before and it scares you. I haven’t either.” I said looking at him, realizing how vulnerable we both were.
“You don’t know how I feel.” Nick said, his voice cutting off.
“We’ve been dating for a year and a half. I do know how you feel.” I replied.
“Sarah you don’t know how I feel.” Nick said repeating himself.
“God Nick. Just admit that you’re scared. It’s not a sigh no weakness.” I said, raising my voice and jerking my hand away.
“Sarah would you just stop over-analyzing everything?” Nick asked reaching up to push a lock of hair out of my face.
I leaned back out of his grasp.
“I can’t. Not with us. I... I love you too much to let me go.” I said.
“Sarah I don’t think that’s the truth. You don’t love me enough to let me go.” Nick said staring deep into my blue eyes.
“Nick, I love you. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I want you to tell me how you really feel about me.” I said.
“Sarah I can’t describe how I feel about you. I love you too.” Nick said.
“Then why can’t we be together?” I asked reaching up to wipe a stray tear away.
“Because I can’t right now. I can’t make any kind of commitment right now.” Nick replied.
“I’m not asking for a commitment. I’m just asking for you to be here with me now.” I said.
“Sarah, I can’t do that.” Nick said.
“I guess this is good-bye then.” I said.
“I guess it is.” Nick said standing up.
I stood up as well, the table no longer separating us. He stepped closer to me. I wanted to step away, but I only felt myself being drawn closer to him.
“I’m sorry it had to end this way.” Nick said softly.
“I’m sorry it did too.” I replied my voice cracking so bad I didn’t know if he could hear me.
“I’ll always love you.” Nick said.
He leaned in and kissed me softly. His lips lingered on mine for a moment and then he pulled away. He reached up and caressed my cheek for the last time.
“You’re crying.” Nick said softly.
I reached up and touched my cheek, only to see that he was right.
“Yeah I guess I am. This is just so hard.” I said softly looking up into his chocolate brown eyes.
“Please don’t cry. Sarah this is for the best.” Nick said.
“Maybe for you, but I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” I said.
“You’ll get over me. I promise you will. And you’ll meet some great guy who can give you things I could never dream of giving you.” Nick said.
“But I don’t want those things. I want you.” I said.
“Sarah, I can’t stay.” Nick said taking my hand.
“I understand.” I said.
“Good-bye Sarah.” Nick said softly.
“Good-bye.” I whispered.
I leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek, closing my eyes. When I opened them again, he was gone. I sank back down into the chair he’d occupied only moments earlier.
I covered my hands with my eyes, so no one could see my tears. I knew people were staring at me, I could feel their eyes piercing my skin. But I didn’t care. All I could think about was how much Nick had meant to me.
“Why Nick?” I asked softly knowing he wouldn’t answer.
“Why couldn’t you just be here with me now?” I asked wiping the tears from my eyes.