Micro-Stories

The Story for Andrew (The Asian)

One day everyone in the world stopped making fun of Asians. Everyone especially stopped making “Have you seen my cat?” jokes. Even though they are quite funny. On that day, Andrew went outside, and saw how pretty everything looked, so he put on a loose dress and danced in his garden. Unfortunately, his neighbour saw him, and called the police. The police arrived at Andrew’s house fifteen minutes later, and when they saw him, they made some cat eating jokes. And everyone in the world started making fun of Asians. Everyone especially started making “Have you seen my cat?” jokes. Because they are quite funny.



The Story for Graeme (The Scotsman)

Yesterday, Graeme the Scotsman decided to go on a murderous rampage. So, he donned his kilt, and smothered his face with woad, and drove down to K-road. Unluckily for Graeme the Scotsman, he had covered his face with the woad in such a way, that it looked like cheap tranny make-up, and his kilt was riding up, and looked like a slutty tranny skirt. As he was strutting down K-road, a horde of jealous he-shes skipped merrily towards him, with a confusing mix of mascara and anger in their eyes. Handily, Graeme the Scotsman had brought his caber with him, and beat up the transvestites until they stopped singing that theme song from Priscilla. And no one messed with Scottish trannies with giant woodies ever again.



The Story for Jeremy (The Depressed Goth)

There once was a depressed little boy. He fell in the cheesecake. He blew up. They all blew up. Everyone died. Miserably.



The Story for Daniel (The comedian)

Where didn’t the coconut come from? The coconut didn’t come from a spring. Because that would be silly. A spring cannot possibly conceive a coconut. Even if the spring was genetically engineered to birthe springs.


THE END