Dear, EDGE!
Characters: (Don't have any in this piece which is fine)!
Language: Very developed and flowing, if somebody read this out loud it would be with huge amounts of expression! Well done!
Structure: You have used paragraphs so well done! You have used a long sentence structure but try to add short sentence structures for extra tension, suspense and impact!
Grammar: You have used a wide range of punctuation so well done! Just make sure to add spaces after your punctuation mark, for example: 'process automatically develop; from simple ape'!
What I liked about it: I liked your use of punctuation and your use of developed and complex language.
What you need to improve on: Spaces (as mentioned before), and a wider range of sentence structure.
Overall thoughts: Overall, you did great, it is very well written (I couldn't have put it better myself!) so very well done from me!
Dear Tim Chui,
One of the best poems I've seen yet! X
What I liked about it:
It gave athletes recognition which is a nice thing to do and it rhymed! X
What I disliked about it:
You didn't use commas after every line which is important for poems! X
Rhyming:
Great use of rhyming you didn't once fail to rhyme the lines of your poem so WELL DONE! X
Language:
Very advanced language used! Also you have used a variety of language techniques as well as spot on language! X
Overall you have done very well! X Well done and well written! X
Bye! X
From CGB! X
Great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great oh and did I mention great!!! X from CGB! X
Great well done! You did a great job writing the scenarios! But I may suggest writing it all out instead of sending link caus slinks don't work for some people! Cya later! Bye!
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