Very sad, heartfelt and truthful. As I read this I thought about my dad, and the way he was the last couple of years before he died. It makes so much sense. And you have to realize someday that may be you. At least he put it in words before he left.
I truly don't feel Bush was involved in the attacks. But, I do believe that he was probably aware something was coming for sure, and did nothing to try to prevent it. I also believe, he helped Binlandin and his family to immediately get out of the country to hide. And, I believe that he pursued Sadam instead to side track us from Binladin.
At first I was strongly for Bush and believed we should go after and kill Binladin. But, now after the fact, Bush did us wrong! Yes, Sadam was a threat at one time, he would have come back sooner or later. The fact is, it was Binladin responsible for 911. And what on earth did he think he was going to find in Iraq after he gave them 1 & 1/2 years notice that we were coming?
For a first crack, you've done quite well. It leaves you to imagine several options, and I absolutely love your ending. I don't think I could have explain how a baby must feel coming into this world, better than you have. Very good, keep it up. You seem to have it going for you.
I read this as being an older sister. After being surprised and realizing you're the older brother, I read it again from your point instead of mine. It touched me thinking of my only brother who is the youngest of six :). But for a big brother to be able to put into words his love for his baby brother is amazing. Not many men can do this.
Not being a pro, but I think in your line,
"I will love you with all my heart, and care for your every needs." Should either read "care for your every need." (no s) or "care for all your needs."
And because you have ended a sentence, you next line, "and when you need my help the most," should start with a capital A "And when you need..."
Other than those minor fixes I love your poem. I hope your brother realizes what he has. :)
I don't know your pain yet, and dread the day to come that I may, because my mother and I are best friends, and I can't imagine life without her. I constantly joke with her that we have to leave this world together, because I couldn't bear her death alone. :) But I do know how much I would miss her, forever, just like you. Your words touched my heart. Know that she is smiling down on you.
I would love to hear the actual song. You have a talent. Tho' I'm by far a professional, I have been writing since a very young girl, and I know what I like and what makes sense. Keep working hard and like you are doing now, always allow God to guide you and you can't go wrong. Beautiful.
Yellow Rose
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