I liked it, Im not a poet, and sometimes have a hard time understanding poetry, (I have to read it a couple times over,,,Ha Ha) the emotions it reflects do come in order and the feelings that happen during a heated duscussion, its chaos until understood, then the subject is understood, then the subject is clear on what the person means, then finding that understanding and being at ease with it. I hope I understood it correctly. Iam also writing and would love some feedback on my stories if you can. Thank you and write on xjgirl3
Good story. There is 4 paragraphs where Asad was talking to Farooq shortly after the beginning, that I couldnt tell was dialogu or not, it seems to be but you dont have the punctaution to show its dialogu. Iam also writing too, if you have a chance to look at mine I would love some feedback Thank you and write on xjgirl3
I enjoyed your story, couldnt stop reading it. Very descriptive about time and place. The words provoked the feelings in the story too. Thank you for sharing it. Im also writing and would like to ask you if you have some time to take a look at it. Have a good day and write on. xjgirl3
I like how you compared the changing of our lives by the changing of the seasons, I have pondered this myself quite often, especially in the fall when it is getting colder and you can feel it almost instantly, I live in Montana and boy does it happen. Im writing a story and was wondering if you had time, would take a look at a chapter. Thank you for sharing this, write on, xjgirl3
Very thoughtful put together story, it really reaches within. I had to read it a couple times. Im also writing, if you would have time to take a look at my portfolio and give me some feedback, that would be great. Thank you, write on. xjgirl3
Very interesting story and good writing. You make the story flow nicely as a narretive. Thats something I have a hard time doing in my stories. Write on.
In the third paragraph where you have, her toothless mouth was opened slightly. Her eyes were also opened slightly. Maybe put,,,, her eyes and toothless mouth were opened slightly? it seems kinda choppy in that area. Really good story, I can relate to a scene like this cause I have worked in nursing homes for 19 years and seen this kind of stuff. Thank you.
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