This is a great story. First, I have to say, I love your writing. The way you described Ohls and Jessie-Belle was so vivid. I could definitely see them in all of their own, individual glory. The story actually gave me in inkling that Jessie-Belle may have the last laugh, but I won't leave a spoiler for anyone wanting to read this story. Great Work! Thank you for sharing your story.
Write on!
Beck
This is an interesting piece. It lead me to wonder if perhaps Jean was not more responsible than she let on. Her smile at the end made me feel that she could have really been the cause of Sam's experience for some reason. I am guessing this had to fit into a word limit for the contest, but I feel like it would be great expanded on as well. It leaves a lot of questions for the reader - which is not always a bad thing - but it seems like there is a lot that is left unexplained. Thank you for sharing your work!
Write on!
Beck
This is a story that will definitely keep the reader reading. I won't give the spoiler at the end, but I thought it was interesting how the box stay with the Gabbler. While he did not seem to particularly care about it, it was unique enough for him to hold onto. The Gabbler is quite an interesting character and I like how you deftly spanned so many years of his life in such a short piece. I may have to get in touch at a later date to ask to read more about him! Thanks for sharing your work.
Write on!
Beck
A super crapper with blue tooth? Awesome!! This was an interesting read I came across in the "Read & Review" tool. It is a great sales pitch. It even has a night light. Whoever thought up this beauty totally had all of their bases covered. Thanks for this cute read - which really is a great sales pitch to boot!
Write on!
Beck
Wow! I will first say that I am not a poet by any stretch, and I admire those who do it well. To say you did this well would be a gross understatement! This is an incredible piece about feeling at home in the ocean, with it all around you. I have never been to the ocean, as I live in the Upper Midwest, but I feel many of the same feeling about the water around me. This is an incredible poem, as well as a look into your mind and your relationship with the ocean. Thank you for so candidly sharing this piece with the world. The world needs more of this!
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Beck
This is a truly interesting and informative piece of nonfiction about angioplasty balloons. I found all of this quite interesting, as my boyfriend had a heart attack just a couple short years ago and being thrust into the world of heart issues. Looking at it from a global perspective, too, is quite eye-opening. Thank you for sharing your expertise on this incredibly important topic.
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Beck
This is a great story. It started out "ordinary" enough (And I do not mean that in a bad way), with a guy sitting at the bar contemplating his lack of a social life. From there, the story takes a great and somewhat unexpected turn. Serena shows up - but I do not want to give an spoilers. For anyone look at my review - seriously, just go read this story! Great work! I would like to know what ultimately happens to Jack, if he stays with Serena or comes back home and has those memories to look back on.
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Becki
Thank you so much for sharing this sweet poem from your heart. I am not a poet by any stretch of the imagination, and I admire those who do it as well as you do. It is easy to feel the feelings you have for your granddaughter. It seems such a special bond between the two of you - two very lucky souls.
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Beck
"Barking fur animal"! I love it! This is a cute little story. Flash fiction can be difficult, but you were able to create some full, fun characters That really came to life for me. I would love to see these guys on more adventures together. Thanks for sharing this fun little tale!
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Beck
What an amazing and touching story! Last year, we lost both of our dogs, who had been with me for almost 14 years. It left such a huge hole in our home and our hearts. I never fancied myself a cat person, but when we went to the shelter, there were two kittens, sisters, at just 2 months old. Needless to say, they stole my heart as well. I quickly learned that kittens are a whole new form of chaos than puppies ever were! But they have filled our home and our hearts once again. It seems I daily beg them to stop growing up so quickly. Like you, I do not want to think of the day they will be gone, although that is likely quite far down the line.
To say your story resonated with me would be an understatement. Thank you so much, not only for writing this piece, but for sharing it!
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Beck
This is another awesome limerick! I especially loved the third and fourth line. When I was a young child and first learning to play chess, my older sister called the bishop "Grover," and now I can't unsee it. But honestly, this was a great little limerick. As I said before, I have not talent for works like this, but you obviously do! Thanks for this fun piece.
Write on!
Beck
This is really cool! I am not a poet or a limerick writer or anything of that sort. I am always excited to read a piece from someone who does it well! I am also not the best chess player, but I do dabble here and there, so your reference to the Rook is well understood. I actually did not know there was a move called castling! So not only was I entertained, but I learned something. Thank you so much for sharing this cool little piece.
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Beck
What a great story! I applaud Ryna for just taking life by the reins. She knew what she needed to do, and she did it. It is a great story and fully told within the confines of a word limit. I hope Roy and his floozy are stuck in the air port for a very long time. I wonder what he will think when he realizes Ryna is gone. He will care, of course, because he needed her as someone to use. Too bad, Roy!
Thanks for a great read!
Write on!
Beck
This is a great poem of internal struggles and demons who tell us both lies and truths from within. I am not a poet by any stretch, and those who do it well always amaze and inspire me! I love both the beginning and the end of the poem with the lines "a facade erected, to fend of foes." This poem speaks to me and I have felt the very same at different points of my life.
It was an easy read with good pacing. There were very few lines where the rhymes were something expected. Very well done.
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Beck
What an awesome story with the funniest ending!!! I laughed out loud. This was a great story - I thank you for sharing it. It reminded me of a time I went trudging in to a remote-ish river my Dad said I "had to see." The river was known as a good trout sot, so I went in to check it out. Not thinking about where I was, I cam across two cubs playing. When I heard the "HuFF!" from behind me, I knew I was about to be in trouble! I backed out as slowly as my shaking legs would allow. Hahaha. Being in the woods and wilderness brings some great stories, doesn't it? This was definitely a great one!
Write on!
Beck
This is a great story from the point of view of a baby Sasquatch! I believe the round hoofed moose was human? I always love stories that look at things from the POV of a different animal/being/race. It's too fun. Thanks for the great story - although I do feel a little bad for this poor little Sasquatch!
Write on!
Beck
What a great twist at the end!! It was easy to feel your main character's annoyance with Dr. Windsor Pierce. I do wonder where he wound up (which is fun to think about!). This was a fun story and I am fascinated by the scene that unfolded when your main character finally made entrance into the inventor's workshop. I felt like there were a couple shifts in tense, but overall, a great read! Thank you for sharing!
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Beck
Great story! I felt the shock Julian and Melody did when they realized who was attempting to sabotage their invention! My only negative would be to not have Melody reveal the "why" of their father's distain for their work. Let the father tell them that near the end when they confront him. It seems forced and contrived for her to say that to her brother - when the father reveals it, even if neither of them knew of the accident before that, I think it is still a great family story in a steampunk setting. Overall - great characters and awesome story! Thanks for sharing it!
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Beck
First, I have to say, I love alliteration in a title, especially for a steampunk story. As for the ending... tell me more!
I was intrigued, right along with Thadeus, has he approached this shop. I could feel the closed atmosphere of the shop. You did an excellent job letting the reader explore the shop with your main character. The proprietor, even in the end, remains somewhat of a mystery, which I liked ( even though I still want to know more!). I am curious as to what Thadeus was making and what the other inventor's previous invention was or how/why it failed to work properly. This was a great steampunk story. Thanks for sharing it!
Write on!
Beck
What a great story! It is difficult to do in so few words, but you did it perfectly with this story about Matt and his... intruder (I don't want to include a spoiler). The last line actually made me laugh out loud! Thanks for sharing this great read - and making me think about those characters!
Write on!
Beck
This is an interesting story of a girl who start out by having nightmares about spiders. The spiders are never truly explained, but at the end the reader gets the idea that she will not have nightmares about them anymore. I will not give away the ending, but suffice it to say the nightmares will be gone and her life will be happy again.
Here are a few of my thoughts on particular parts of the story.
"Just then, she turned over so she was staring into the corner." Just then doesn't seem to fit in this sentence. It is nothing that happens urgently.
"Then he spoke about a quandary and had a good demur". This sentence does not seem to make sense. I understand it used two of the required words, but it does not add to the story and seems out of place when the quandary is not expounded upon.
"He was her boyfriend for a year now and his name was Joaquin. She had trouble remembering his name even now, especially since it sounded so feminine." But she obviously knows his name, because it was just said here - kind of confusing.
"And then pain started wearing through her legs" perhaps there is a better word than wearing?
She took the time to drink two cups of coffee, yet Joquin said it was urgent. If it was ice coffee, which could be drank quickly, that might be good to add. Otherwise, it would take a good deal of time to drink two hot cups of coffee, so that didn't really ring true.
This is a pretty cool poem. I've never thought about if a parody performer is truly a musician or if they are truly making music. Great piece centered around that. The best part about this poem is it leaves the answer to the reader.
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Beck
Oohhhh, a mystical, magical shoppe! Thomas was being bullied and wanted a new life - I can totally relate, as I was pretty small as a kid, too, and got picked on as an easy target. A mirror to a parallel universe? Great idea! I found myself hoping the best for Thomas in his new, parallel, life. Thanks for sharing this story!
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Beck
This was a great story. Maggie and, in the end, Kayla, certainly are master manipulators. It was fun how you took these kids and slid them neatly into an adult world - with a side of mobster. I am secretly hoping it all works out in the girls' favor! Thanks for another great read.
Write on!
Beck
"If you'd taken the time to study our laws, bylaws, and buhbye laws before blasting off all willy-nilly into space, you wouldn't be in this mess."
What a hoot! Buhbye laws cracked me up! I instantly loved this witty law enforcement officer from another planet... well, I guess technically it was the human that was from another planet - and definitely not knowing the rules. There were chuckled peppered throughout the piece, but the human is in obvious danger at the end. A fun read, but also a great reminder that we are not all the same, but each set of rules and beliefs bears as much credence as the other. Thanks for sharing this fun, but meaningful, story!
Write on!
Beck
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