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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tema
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Tema Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Janaya,

I'm sure this experience is something all young girls go through starting a new School. It's definitely a hard experience to go through. Like a lot of other good things, it takes time. Time to adjust. Time to adjust to new surroundings, new people, new way of doing things. She shouldn't try to be someone else. Someoneone she's not. She should be herself. Everyone is different in their own ways. There's nothing wrong with being unique. One of the best ways to break in at a new School is to find people who have similar interests. A good way is if she loves writing, join the Writing Club, School newspaper or Yearbook Student Staff. Acting, join a Drama Club. Photography, join a Photography Club. The same goes for School sports. That's where she would find new friends that she could easily connect with. While everything is new to her, she is new to them as well. In time, as they get to know each other*Smile*

Again, another life piece that opens up thoughts, conversation, discussion, etc.

Yes, grammar and punctuation needs some correcting. But the subject matter is right on. Giving the reader insight into how a young girl experiences and feels at a very awkward and difficult time.

Thank you for sharing. *Smile*

Keep writing!

Tema
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Review of The Real You  Open in new Window.
Review by Tema Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Beautiful poem. Very deep, spiritual. How true your points are about reaching inside our souls. *Heart*

I do question however on certain subject as the pets. In one paragraph, there is the one line by itself with the next sentence being a different topic and then the pets are again brought in further down. Maybe put them together?

As for grammar/punctuation...just 2 small spots.

"Too keep the world at bay" Too should be To

Again, beautiful work. *Smile*
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