You have made sufficient improvements! Well, I think you should use Google Docs/Microsoft Word. Some technical mistakes need to be removed.
I'm thrilled to see what's coming next!
Just read your new poetry though the newbie feature!
It appears like a sense - evoking material. All you need is to give it bit more of a life, and how about prettifying it with a different shape?
Best of luck for your future writings.
Hi, CurlyFry. Just read your new input : Imprisoned By His Love (Chap. 1)
Before I begin, let me tell you - it's all entirely my opinion. Various readers have various tastes.
A few points I think should be revised -
1) Like, some grammatical errors, spacing errors, logical errors etc. They might not seem important at first - but when you begin with publishing, they eat up the chances.
2) Try giving the story a slow, yet intriguing depth. Like, in the 2nd paragraph, you can try adding a particular incident your character had with her friends that left a characteristic mark on her heart. It could be a conflict between Mathew and her. Or how, they actually became friends. Just to hook the reader. But be careful - don't get too wordy!
3) Try adding a brief yet funny conversation Layla had with her friends. That would gladden the reader, too.
Some points I really admire in your story -
1) The starting. As they say the starting is the backbone of a story and decides the entire whirl of the plot - yours is perfect.
2)The use of informal, yet interesting a tone.
3)Not getting into the kidnapping at once - making it a good suspense tale.
This actually reminds of an incident that happened with me. One morning, I had such a great idea about a short story I had already titled in my mind as "Little Tyke" and by the noon it had evaporated like clean cheese! Holy Jesus!
Though it's not much of a big deal, it taught me to jot down every single notion that comes in my mind.
You have done a really good job with considerable effort, I see!
Best of luck for your upcoming features.
How beautiful, girl! It's really so simple, thought - provoking and a pleasure to read. I myself joined this website a few days ago, but I haven't posted anything yet. I wish I could write as pretty as you!
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