I love that you have taken this topic on. It is apart of life. It truely is like a shadow that is always there. I love this particular style of poetry and I love that you chose to put it out there. It is the only one under the key words "abuse" and "addiction" we need more on here. It may very well help someone that is in the early stage of addiction or on the verge of using. It may help others to see that it is not a pretty thing to go through. How it is a haunting part of you when you become an addict. Keep up the good work.
This is just my opinion...
I think this is a great story! You have the stuttering down awesomely! I thought he was going to kill Andrew for sure. Wow... I was shocked at the end when he didn't and even more so when he said "count me in" How creative! I love it. Very cool :)
This is the saddest thing I have ever read in my life. It seems to be a true story (i hope not). It reminds me of a story my step daughter Bree told me happened one night in Georgia. I sat listening to her cry all night that her boyfriend and friend died. So I guess this hits so close to home. I hate that in one second a single choice can change everything and we are often left full of what if's. I think it is a great read full of sadness and real emotions.
That is soooo funny! Was this prompt or did you create this on your own? I think they should have more adventures together :) I wish it was a little longer though, but over all it is creative, cute, and funny.
I am not sure if Neil should be allowed around sharp objects. I was confused on the age of these folks, Neil reminds me of a old man that is in the science field- defiantly quirky and very interesting.
I do think the story line is interesting and it had some comedy to it. I did however have a hard time at one point going on i felt like it was tripping on its own feet for a second.
Overall I think you are very creative and keep up the good work. I would like to see more adventures of this Neil character.
I absolutly love, love, love this! It sounds exactly like what I say to my self every year (pert' near") I think it is creative and unique I wish I had thought of it first. How cool. I am not a master reviewer or anything so if there is negative things I don't know what they are. I was not trying to get points for this, I really just wanted to tell you how much i like it.
I like the feel, It is something we all think about in our selves. What we look like to others is so important and it is hard sometimes to be comfortable in our own skin. It seems like we all see more flaws in our selves than other ever see in us though. I am asking this as a question because the way I say it when I read it out loud ( i am a newbie) on the last line between horizon and unique should there be something there? I'm not sure what but when i say it out loud there is a pause there. I am asking - not to be disrespectful in any way but just for my own curious cat.
In paragraph #1 where it says "a deep color of red and black" Could it say "crimson" or another choice, or " the deepest color's of Red and black"?
In paragraph # 3 Sentence #1 does not seem to flow as well as it could. It seems like its missing something or needs something changed around the end "crazy question like that"
In paragraph #5 "I'm not even looking too" is that how you meant to write it?
Give me a virtue, take it away, and present the world my emptiness.- I really liker that it seems like it holds power and is very creative.
Paragraph #7 I love the way this character is written. It reminds me of a very small town in Georgia - Colquitt pronounced (cock a witt) by the locals. They live off the land and speak in the same way as this charact. I love, love, love it. I wish I could dig down deep and find it in my self to write from that point of view. I know it well I just don't believe I would be able to do it as well as you have.
I love the following character as well for the same reasons.
Paragraph #9 They say you should never go looking for trouble"that enough finds you as it happens" This part feels wrongly worded, is it supposed to be this way? It's not horrible but it just feels like maybe it could be worded a little better.
Paragraph #12 What is beeves?
Paragraph # 13- Is nice and dark with just the right amount of info to keep you wondering.
Paragraph #14- Isn't a kilo weight?
Paragraph #15- Is well written.
if I were to keep on I will have an enitre book myself. I would like to take the time to say that I would purchase this book. I hope you complete it, It is great. At first I was thinking where is this going? Then I thought when is this going to be hard back bound! It made me feel like I was stepping into a place that has a lot of story to tell, so keep telling I am excited to read!
Paragraph #10 Braise gives it this edgy feel, like you are on the hunt for some powerful being.
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