Dan, you have a unique way of making 'aging' funny. There are a few lessons in here, along with your humor. I read your blog this morning which lead me to this story. For some reason, I feel like I needed this little lesson this morning. Keep writing, my friend. Though, I don't always comment, I do get around to reading most of it...
Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Sheila B
FIRST IMPRESSION: The beginning paragraph grabs my attention as I wonder why the 'Beast' is sitting with a table full of lawyers. The descriptive scene brings your readers right into the story.
PLOT THOUGHTS:I like the twist on the story but the ending seemed too abrupt. I would have liked to have seen the Beast with a little hope.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors noted.
Your twisted humor makes for great reading. I enjoyed exploring your port.
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: This poignant and heartwarming story held many emotions. I loved the descriptions of each of the exes and could almost get a feel of each one's personality as the story unfolded.
PLOT THOUGHTS: Humor in this touching story added to it tremendously. I laughed at each scene as each 'scarring' was told. You did a great job with the story line.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors.
FAVORITE PART: The ending again, of course, held mystery but delight.
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
This was an inspirational writing that touched my soul. In your talented way, you have given us a lesson in adversity. Your research for this was done through your own life. How amazing that you can pen such a lesson with such clarity. I know that putting it on paper makes it more real and helps to see the true picture. You've done just that with this piece. Thanks for sharing a part of your life and know that my prayers are with you and your son.
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING CAUGHT IN THE TALENT POND
First Impression: The story captured my attention in the first paragraph and held it to the end. The beginning reads as a true love with the gift. Your talented showed in your weaving of the surprise ending. Great job
Spelling and Grammar/Suggestions:
"they touch anything(any)of his stuff"
Additional Comments: I enjoyed this and am glad you shared it with us.
Keep Writing so I may keep reading and reviewing
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Your poem paints a story of self destruction. Each line is full of emotion and shows true talent. Each word stands alone to tell of destruction. You did a great job with this one.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors
FAVORITE PART:
"She was the arsonist"
This sentence tells much about the poem
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
First Impression: Great story line and plot showing a hint of mystery. This will be an interesting story once you finish tweaking it.
Spelling and Grammar: I sent "edit point" comments for each paragraph.
Additional Comments: Don't give up on this story as I feel it has potential to be a short story that receives quite a few reviews. Your story is a good one and your characters are believable. There were a few places where you changed tense in the middle of the sentence and a few places with spacing errors.
Keep Writing so I may keep reading and reviewing
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1382727 by Not Available.
First Impression: What a delightful rescue story told in a childlike manner. I enjoyed the freshness of the story, the descriptive images of the fairy and the scenes you were able to paint so vividly.
Spelling and Grammar and Suggestions: No obvious spelling or grammar errors. I'm not sure about grammatically but I don't think you need a coma and an "and" in a lot of your sentences. You might check this: "To Comma or Not to Comma" by Vivian
Additional Comments: Your talent shows in your depiction of a young girl and her rescue. The story was intriguing and held my attention from the first paragraph. Great job!
Keep Writing so I may keep reading and reviewing
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Though a fictional poem, the emotion makes it so real. I have felt the feeling that is portrayed in your writing.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
FAVORITE PART: "for you, I’ve shed my last tear."
Those words ring true to my own life and have special meaning as I read
:FINAL THOUGHTS: Sometimes you can read an author's work and feel that they have special insight into the way you think and feel. You've captured that feeling here. Thanks for sharing.
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Your poll is grand. I love the beginning with the colorful accent, header and image. There are so many different people that come together here with a common goal. This poll tells us what a small part of such a larger world we are. Nice job!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Being a cat lover, myself; I could relate so well to this story. Your vivid descriptions of the scenery painted a great picture of that cat.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors
FAVORITE PART: When the lady of the house realized the truth.
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Your poetry had a poetic beat and described an awesome person who lived a normal life. You did a great job with the prompt. The imaginative way you did your self eulogy shows great talent.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors. I did have to look up the word, "glinstered".
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1344922 by Not Available.
FIRST IMPRESSION: I think this short story could be the beginning of a romance and could be continued. Scenes of Cassandra and Tim and her admission of love for someone else.
PLOT THOUGHTS: Each paragraph left me with scenes and emotions from memories of my own teen years and my own summer loves. Those were special times and your writing brought back those special times.
ERRORS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1344922 by Not Available.
FIRST IMPRESSION: As always, when I read your writing, I am drawn in immediately. You have a unique way of portraying your characters and settings so as to put me right into the story.
PLOT THOUGHTS: I could almost feel the coldness you tried to bestow upon your early morning visitor; only to "warm" up to him quickly because of his resemblance to your one true love. Each word paints a vivid picture of a portion of his personality. As always, your talent shows in each paragraph. And yes, I'd try to buy love, if I could.
ERRORS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
SUGGESTIONS:
"Why those words would make (me) feel like a giddy teenager again, I had no idea"
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Only you could turn that disaster into a plan that worked for you! Of course, only you, could paint such a vivid picture that I could see the beast with the fangs showing.
PLOT THOUGHTS: Your sense of humor is evident in your writing. You always bring a much needed smile!
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
SUGGESTIONS:
Just keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: I'm never quite sure which of your stories are true and which are fiction. Your talented rendition of this family outing makes it possible to visualize the trip with you.
PLOT THOUGHTS: There is a hidden message here to always have a plan in case of separation and to save dad's nerves.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Is it "Fisherman's Wharf" or "Fishermen's Wharf"? Not sure on this one.
FAVORITE PART:
"the screaming man on the brink of an aneurism(aneurysm) running behind their car"
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: I wasn't sure whether to laugh at your unique "thawing" method or whether to try it. I can see myself doing something like this.
PLOT THOUGHTS: The talented way you told this story had me giggling to myself. The first paragraph captured my attention. The ending fooled me. I thought "disaster".
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
FAVORITE PART:
"I placed “Tom” into a fishnet"
What a visual!
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
FIRST IMPRESSION: Your poem sings of the belief in love. Your words made me feel the anticipation that the writer was feeling.
PLOT THOUGHTS: I find love and romance to be difficult to write as there have been so many describing the same feelings. Your talent shows in your ability to portray the same emotions but in a different light. Great job!
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING CAUGHT IN THE TALENT POND
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PROUD MEMBER OF THE ANGEL ARMY
FIRST IMPRESSION: You words tell of constant pain that will never go away. How sad that a love so strong hurts so bad; both physically and emotionally.
PLOT THOUGHTS: There are so many who live this poetry every day. The emotional words show great talent. They drew me in and made me feel the pain and hurt.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A TALENT POND PRIZE CATCH
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PROUD MEMBER OF THE ANGEL ARMY
FIRST IMPRESSION: Your story captured my attention in the first paragraph using drama and mystery.
PLOT THOUGHTS: Your talent shows in your ability to write a story that lends family traits and values to solve a family mystery. I enjoyed the boys memories as they solved the puzzle of their grandfather's will.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors or suggestions for improvement.
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Hi
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is your second review for
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1334556 by Not Available.
FIRST IMPRESSION: Your talent shows in your depiction of this dark intro. It's a great start to your future writing.
PLOT THOUGHTS: I like the way you describe the scene and the characters. Your words paint vivid pictures of the happenings within the story.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
"My beloved father was a humble clock maker; I loved him and followed in his footsteps." I think this would flow better as two sentences.
"and as they did the pain of my loss dissipated". reword for clarity
"all hours of the night; I would lock myself in my workshop" use no semi colon and make two sentences Please know that these are only suggestions and should be taken as such. Take what you can use and forget the rest
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Hi Vivian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** FIRST IMPRESSION: Your opening paragraph, filled with comedy, grabbed my attention. This was a well written and informative article. Thanks for sharing your knowledge on the proper use of a comma. This is a lesson that many of us could use refresher courses. I hope that you don't hold it against me if I use a comma incorrectly in your review.
Thanks for all you do for the WDC community. This is just one of the examples of my reason for joining. I did well in school in grammar and English but that was so many years ago that I welcome any and all lessons to remind me.
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Hi Vivian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** FIRST IMPRESSION: Your sadness shows in the writing of the struggles and sorrow your family has endured during one of your favorite seasons. May you learn to feel the happy memories on this occasion and maybe the sadness will be lessened.
PLOT THOUGHTS: Your strength and caring for your family shows in your talented rendition of your family holiday season. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with your readers. May your writing ease the pain.
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling/grammar errors
SUGGESTIONS:
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
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FIRST IMPRESSION: The beginning paragraph grabs my attention as I wonder why the 'Beast' is sitting with a table full of lawyers. The descriptive scene brings your readers right into the story.
PLOT THOUGHTS:I like the twist on the story but the ending seemed too abrupt. I would have liked to have seen the Beast with a little hope. 
SUGGESTIONS/GRAMMAR/SPELLING: No obvious spelling or grammar errors noted.
SUGGESTIONS:
FAVORITE PART: The ending again, of course, held mystery but delight.
First Impression: The poetry flows nicely and tells a story of immense love for a parent. 
Spelling and Grammar: "youngster" is misspelled in your title. I think you left out the "g"
Additional Comments: Congratulations on being caught in the Talent Pond. Your talent shows the reason for such an honor.
