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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/solarflare2000
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5 Public Reviews Given
106 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by SolarFlare Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Storm,

I enjoyed reading Yoga, For the Right Reasons a great deal. I’ve been a fan of yoga all my life though my practice has stopped and started quite a lot. Whenever I’ve had any physical problems yoga has usually been my first port of call for self-healing, and most of the time it has done the trick! Your story is amazing, how you overcame your bursitis and went on to become a yoga teacher. I loved your description of the first couple of lessons you led, how you felt nervous, what went a bit wrong in the very first lesson, and how your students helped you through.

This is excellent writing. As I read it I felt absorbed, spellbound to the end. I felt that I was led through the same experiences myself & I wondered whether I would have the courage to do the same things in the same circumstances. Thanks for the wonderful read. *Delight*

*Hugz*

SolarFlare *Heart*


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Review of Childish Games  Open in new Window.
Review by SolarFlare Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Glavin,

I really like this piece. It held me spellbound which is something poetry doesn' t often do to me. *Wink*

I have a few points

1) Avoiding the shark infested concrete
Maybe I'm just being dense but I don't 'get' the metaphor here. The two children are deliberately skipping close to the edge of the water. At first I thought that the "concrete" must refer to the water being a long way down so that hitting its surface would be like hitting concrete, but as the girl that fell didn't suffer from an impact this can't be the case. *Confused*

2) You say its a pool, but later you say there was a sign that told him otherwise, which is a rarity with pools but fairly common for natural water forms (lakes, ocean, etc.).

3) If it's a pool then where do the sharks come from? Sharks are ocean creatures. Or are the sharks metaphors for the danger that is the water?

I like the way the reader is left guessing at the end about the thunder. Was it real? A premonition? A metaphor which became real in the boy's perception?

Points 1, 2, 3 are minor ones. Please don't take them as significant or as things other readers would see as problematic. The poem itself is wonderful. The physical & emotional imagery is mostly very clear & the story it tells takes the reader on an gripping adventure.

I particularly liked the lines:
Eyelashes touching my brows and cheekbones
which I had to think about for a second or two before it clicked,

and
I called her an idiot, because she scared me.
which stirred in me the emotion it described and deepened my reading experience.

Well done. I hpe you get a grade A (or equivalent). You deserve it. *Bigsmile*

*Hugz*

SolarFlare
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Review of Oblivion  Open in new Window.
Review by SolarFlare Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Amazing. I was completely absorbed. Thank you.
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