Whoaa...it took me a minute or to realize what happened at the end but I don't mean that as in a bad why. Very interesting take. I am not an editor so I did not see any errors or flaws but I liked it. Good Luck!
I thought it was interesting and creative in the beginning. In the middle I started to get a little lost. You could use to have some (I am not a editor) but spacing of paragraphs when something new happens. I thank you for sharing!
Awww... that is kinda sweet. I am not an expert at poetry so I don't know about editing and such but it was very sweet in a melancholy way. Thank you for sharing!
I am not a expert at how poetry should be written or edited but I liked this. You told a story and I think I would have understood it even with out the description. Thank you for sharing!
Very sweet homage to summer and the little girl. I the end doesn't flow quite right. I know the story you trying to tell but something didn't click there. Thank you for sharing...
I like the first couple lines and that you praising intelligence... May I ask what do you mean by drinking toast? I feel it has gone over my head. Best Wishes.
I think what you have is creative but yet does not flow when I read it. It is very stiff as though a robot is the character. ..I don't know if that is what you were going for . I think I would like to see more emotion shown...but maybe that's just me.
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