Wow, you didn't use A anywhere in your poem?! Very impressive. The poem was witty and funny and a fast-paced humor. I enjoyed it! Hope I can read more of your writing soon.
I enjoyed this writing. The sentences flowed well and I appreciated how you were able to add reveal the character's emotions and history as we read along. At the end you didn't give us room to guess what was happening. You laid out this story well and were able to tell a powerful, touching story in only 298 words. "Trevor poured a bourbon and eased into his recliner. The stillness of the apartment bore upon him. He sipped the drink and stared at the blank television screen. Simple descriptions like this really set the story well.
The dialogue is crisp and clear. The character comes out in this well in this piece also.
I love how you described the nature and trees and how the dew hit his nose and how the lake looked. I could imagine it and its beautiful. As i read this I kept thinking something shocking would happen at the end but I still liked it. I like the details and how you let the reader imagine this no-named man. I'm working on a book now with a lot of nature in it and this helped me a lot! Plus i'm new at writting stories so could you please review my stories!
One suggestion i have is where you said "He ran his fingers through the sand" maybe you could say there was sand there and then say this.
Whoa, this is deep. But I agree completley. I think that much cruelty in this world is overlooked and I find it shameful and tacky that we have people on TV showing off thier millions while people are starving around the world. Also I think that there are others who try to do what is right but are flooded with sin. I would be completly lost if I did no know why the world is why it is. If i didn't abide by the laws of the bible. 1 John 5:19 says that the world is lying in the hand of the wikid one, and we are in the last days, which explains the behavior of people in today's, even those who claim to be christian (2Timothy 3:1-5).
I enjoyed your writting and profound opinion. Personally I don't think there is anything to really correct here because it would be like scolding an artist for free expression.
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