Welcome to WDC and I know you are a newbie.
This your first try and it is very beautiful.
My thoughts
This is about hopes.How it happen,how you feel..or is this hopes are just a nightmare..?
Title and description is nicely fit to those lines.
You have a sharp,strong thoughts an you have to release it.Give your love for poem an sharp it.
Few suggestions
These are only my thoughts and if you like you can accept,if not ignore it.
Now is nice morning - "Now it's a nice morning"
bright of the sun will shine into your whole body - better if you write like this " Brightness of the sun will shine in your body"
Now your eyes is close - "Close your eyes"
You can feel the warm on your skin, Because of the light of the sun-Better if you write like this "You will feel the warmth of the sun on your skin"
When your eye are open, you see the hopes - "Open your eyes you will see the hopes of your life" I added word"life" cos I feel something missing.
What I like
"It same like flaming sword pierce trough your heart " this line touche my heart.
Second verse is beautifully made.
Final thoughts
Second verse is my favorite and You have the talent.Do not hide it and let it bloom.
Keep writing.
Good luck..
You are a very good ,kind hearted person and I love helpful friends like you.
Very much beautiful poem you made.
You make hopes in peoples hearts who suffering in cancers,you gave a strength to them,love to them and dream to live them,they will never afraid on death when they read this.
Suggestions.
One thing -Don't use yellow color on words,cos it's heard to read and not clear (My opinion)
Hello G.B.
Truly stressing poem you made...beautiful and good try..you a your stress beautifully by adding these to lines "How did I get myself in this mess?
I am so stressed I just want to scream. "
Rhyming words are perfectly matching..Every one have a stress don't worry about that..Hee
Need any help,drop a mail..
First of all I want to say - your love will be forever yours,and I wish.perfect love poem you made.I love every lines you made.The way you add natural beauty for your love was successful.adding true emotions is the best.
Give your love for the Poem..
good work.ill send 1000gps with this.
I don't have much money sweetie..thats why I send little Gps,I'm collecting for membership.
sry..don't angry..please..
I'm donate 1000 gps
Beautiful poem...
when I read this I was imagine about that little girl Theresa in long time ago..she was very clever I felt..,
You mention how you feel your grandma,how she care about you..
thoughts of a little heart but it has a big,powerful love..
Poor girl..I didn't know that Cinderella is bad,she is evil..
What a beautiful story you wrote..This another different story an different thinking.This is about one of Cinderella's sister who fall in love with prince an who had beautiful,kind heart.Our thoughts are wrong about Cinderella,an this is a new chapter of it.you describe the story an give idea for readers what happen and ho you are,like that,it is good to understand before we read the story.
This is my thought - I think if you wrote the description after the en of the story it will beautiful,cos reader will try to know what happen to next,then he will read till last to0 know what happen.
But good work..keep writing.It's a good thing to become a tree,cos you can see princess every day,you can give him shelter,tasty fruits,you can be happy by looking at him am you can't leave him cos your roots will spread in everywhere.
Good luck.
Dear xarbo,
First of all I'm really sorry to hear that your grandpa passed away.I also had same feeling when I was in grade 6.I know how you feel.It's so hard to believe when we missed our loved ones.But that's the reality and we have to face it.
About your poem - This is kind of sorrowful poem. Poem for Grandfather ho passed away from his beloved grand son/daughter.we written poem and you mixed your feelings to the poem well,true feelings gives good taste for the poem or short story,,etc.you try to give us your feelings for us,and I also felt your feelings.slowly you give sadness by this poem and it touched my heart.How you miss him,how you stay with him,how you fee him after his death,when flowers bloom how you remember your grandpa,those feelings catch my heart soon.
One thing capitalize i,when you mention about you as "I"
ex : But i miss the missing soul, my grandpa.
capitalize i,in the above line,also other lines.
Good work,friend,keep including true feelings an give love for your poems.
I love your poem very much.It touched my heart and I also wish I could fly.
From your lovely topic you gave,catch my eyes soon.It is so close to heart.the way you mention it,the way you see your life back..you mention all the things in rhythmic way.
short ,sweet and simple poem you wrote and it has hidden meaning.From a little verse you give a lot of things to think.
But I think it's better, if it little bit longer with another few lines...however your work is successful.
what a wonderful poem you wrote...
take me to another world Surrounded by beautiful ocean scenery...
I love your every line and it ha beautiful passion an it is unique to you..details that you combined with the feelings and scenery are well going..
your work is amazing..keep writing.., you can become a good poet one day and I wish your success in your life journey.
what a beautiful poem you made...
it is about a worm who try to find a partner to his life and the red apple who waiting for her life partner.finally they met their life partners.
you mention about these lonely lives very well.
this is uncommon story..I'm happy finally they got their partners,,
it is very calm,short and sweet...keep writing...you can go long way like your Mommy..
felt that he whisper to me..
"He says that I'm more beautiful then the sky's sunset"..this line is very lovely,not like others..you saw that in different way..
I like to see your poems more..
Beautiful,flowing poem..you made it in great way...I love your every line that you wrote.
Every line had hidden lovely feeling.you try to give the feeling of love.you did it..
my favorite line is - "Remember:
I've stolen you as much as you've stolen me"
It touched my heart and it filled with full of love.
Hello Xaien..
Is this true feeling??
Your rhyming words are beautiful..
My favorite lines -Days and nights pass us by,
The flowers we planted are about to die..
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