one question: what exactly was this right thing that Jack did? did he confess the truth or die for something that he didn't do? Amazing story, keep writing. thank you so much.
Beautiful story, I loved every minute of reading it. One question though: Who wrote the poem "Shattered"? Was it you or someone else? Thanks for writing such works of art.
Pretty good list! I am a devout Christian myself and I agree with most of these. However please consider changing the "virgin" one. Afterall God gives second chances, why can't we? Although a "virgin" would be preferable, who's to say that God's plan for you is to marry someone with a past? Just some things to think about. Thank you for setting good high moral standards. God Bless
Cherish her while you can, and she will come back to you. Show her how much you care, and she will care for you. Good luck, and great poem Dylan! Keep on writing.
Oh do I ever know how that feels! Sometimes guys just do things thinking of themselves and not others, and it hurts a lot, the pain totally consuming you, until you feel that you will never escape from the darkness. I get it. I hope everything works out, great poem by the way. Smile, you are beautiful. :)
I have a few questions for this piece, which has a great poetic touch and use of words might i say. If he loves her, which he demonstrates, then why would he want to take away everything that means something to her. In killing himself he would take away her whole world, as described in the story. What kind of selfish being does something like this? After she tells him that she is lost without him, he still leaves. Its awfully sad, but i think that it does depict reality in most senses. Good write, but i think you might want to go a little broader on the explanation of why he wants to do these things, how their relationship started, more of his character, more of her character.... etc. You write beautifully though, don't give up.
Ivy Lee Carson
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