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Review of Airport Wasteland  Open in new Window.
Review by Robby Slaughter Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Your concept is intriguing: ultra reality television, but with the flustered ravings of a nervous character apparent through the writing. However, I think the execution is difficult to follow. I read several of the paragraphs two or three times in an attempt to understand the concepts.

I think this is mostly just tuning your language. For example, you write in the first two sentences: " I paid him and stepped out of the cab. After he pulled away I stood for a few seconds longer...". The gender of the cab driver is not important to your story, so this is confusing. How about simply "I paid and stepped out of the cab. After it pulled away I stood for a few seconds longer..."

Hope this helps. Keep writing and good luck!

Best,
Robby Slaughter
www.robbyslaughter.com
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