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4 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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Review of Back in Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Richard Gunn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I genuinely liked the theme, as it softly strikes a chord with me. The descriptions used comes over as plain-speak which is good as the message is in the beginning and the end and there is not much distraction needed other for the writer to be drawn cleverly into a false conclusion and then have to deal with another more ethically thought outcome.
Nice short story, I erroneously LOL thought it was written by Jules Verne until I saw the credits.
My only personally identified lacanua was the lack of adverbs that describe verbs, although I suppose as the narrative is based on ideas rather that the action getting eventually there we may dutifully allow this to pass ...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Two fisted Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Richard Gunn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Fyn

More prose than poem I can see and feel you appear to putting a message over of a snap-shot in the world you believe you live.
There appears to be questions therein (or at least one question) and brings forth notions of how simple folk live their simple lives then tragedy!

Bit of a mystery "with good reason" as you decided to switch in your writing - it would be interesting to read your next piece and I encourage you.

This is my first attempt at reviewing and I have tried to be encouraging, pragmatic, specific where I may but vague to allow your own potential to contribute on feedback

As you probably already know, perhaps the use of a thesaurus to research verb like "live" to avoid the repetition
abide, berth, bide, bunk, carry on, cohabit, continue, continue to be, domicile, domiciliate, doss down, emphasize, endure, exist, extend, focus on, go on, hang out, harp on, hold, hold on, hold out, inhabit, inhere, keep, keep on, labour, lie, live, live on, live through, lodge, maintain, nest, occupy, perch, perdure, perennate, persist, persist in, prevail, remain, reside, rest, room, roost, run, run on, squat, stand, stay, stay on, stress, subsist, survive, sustain, tarry, tenant, tide over, wear

but on the other hand live live lived is certainly a way to emphasise - there are other ways

I hope this helps

Kind Regards

Richard


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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