I am reviewing for "Newbies are the Judge" as a newbie
That was great! I like the flow, the rhymes, the way it made me feel. It made me love the fox, how he thinks of himself, and how it can be true. I wonder why the title is all capitalized though. And there was something that sort of messed me up while reading the poem, some lines mess up the flow, or that's what I think at least, and that's the only reason this is not a 5 stars! There were also some words that felt forced just to make it rhyme, but those weren't much, maybe one or two words. Great poem anyway.
That was well done. The pace of the story was great, and the message at the end was a good one. I like how it's easy to fly through the words, which makes the story nice to read. there are a few missing commas, though, but that's ok. Some parts were overly exaggerated, like when the package was still closed, and he thought someone was playing a game on him, but that might just be him overthinking. Anyways, here are things that I think were grammatically incorrect:
1: There was nothing, (I think there shouldn't be a comma)
2: I leant back on (Leaned)
3: Realisation hit me (Realization)
That's it, good piece of writing, do more. Keep writing!
That was a nice story. Good idea, the dialogue isn't bad, the characters might get a bit confusing the first time you read it, but that's fine. And it was a nice little piece to read. I found some simple grammar errors, if you are interested, I'm going to list them now.
1: “Why can’t it be daytime.” Sally whined. (Should add either a question mark or a comma, instead of a full stop. since Sally whined is right after it.)
2: “Trent” he said (Should add a comma after Trent.)
3: “Wow I’m impressed (Should add a comma after "Wow)
4: to meet you Trent.” (There should be a comma after you)
And that's all I found, those are very simple errors thus it's not going to affect my rating for this piece. And if my error corrections are wrong, please tell me, I'll be glad to learn I'm wrong, and to learn something new. Well, that's it, good story. Keep writing!
Not a bad story, the dialogue is well done and the spacing is good. In the first few paragraphs, the story was moving at a slow pace, a pace a bit slow for usual short stories. Although in the last few dialogues, it got pretty confusing as to who was speaking, but that is just something some readers might experience. The story wasn't bad at all, creative concept. Last but not least, there were some grammar mistakes that I found while reading, I'll list down a few.
() means whatever in between should/could be removed.
{} means whatever is in between should/could be added
1: Jack’s hair was long an unkempt *missing letter*
2: Rico grimaced again(,) *Unnecessary comma*
3: but was more (pre)occupied by what *Or could replace "by" with "with"*
4: There (were) a dozen *Were does not go well with A dozen*
There might have been more errors, as I was not searching for errors when I was reading the story. Anyway, not a bad story. Keep writing!
Well, the characters are pretty believable and likable, the dialogue is fine, and the simplicity of the writing adds a nice touch to it. But the only thing I did not like is the plot. Maybe it's only me, but the plot was really peaceful, it's like describing a normal day (And if that is what you were looking for when writing this, then great! it's a good story). What I mean by that is that nothing much happened, not much emotion involved. Although that is just my opinion, otherwise the story is great!
P.S. This is my first review, so I just stated what I think about this.
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