Thanks for the opportunity to review your story. It tugged at my heart and the writing is good. There wasn't a single grammar mistake or clumsy sentence to distract me from the story – and that is the way it should be. Good job!
It was a good story but it has the potential to be even better – that is if you want some edting advice to improve the telling of the story – I think all the ingredients are there.
Just like you, I lost a grandparent close to the holidays. My grandmother passed away about a month ago. And like your experience with your grandfather, she was the center of Christmas for the whole family. I suppose there are a million stories out there just like that.
But your story wants to be different, and it has the raw ingredients to do just that – the unique way your grandfather saw Christmas (an old man looking at Christmas with the joy of a child, which is pretty unique), and the dream with the dove and crow. These are pretty unique. Find a way to "book-end" your story with one of those elements, starting with it to hook the readers and then finishing the story with it. Weave the other element into the story.
For example (and this is just an example!), you could start with the unique way your grandfather looked at Christmas, and throw in some dialogue to reinforce it, a little mild conflict with other family members who urged him to open presents with the rest of the family. Then he dies two days before Christmas, and the family really starts to miss his quirky way. When the dove comes in your dream, you develop a relationship with the dove, and after a while, YOU ask if he could take a card to your grandfather. The crow tries unsuccessfully to take the card away...and as the dove flies off, he says "...I won't read it until Christmas Day..."
Great story...I simply loved it. I was looking for something to review, when I came across the title and the brief descrption -- and I thought I MUST read this story. And boy am I glad I did. What a creative point of view!
Setting dominated this story...at least for me...with some characters (family oak trees) and plot (the night and the storm) thrown in to keep me interested...and I think that is exactly the right recipe. I don't know that you could have done it any differently.
And I don't know that you could have done it any better. Perhaps the hurricane could have been built up a little more...but hey, that's probably a stretch too...just something for you to ponder.
Overall...Great read!
I will definitely seek out your portfolio and read more of it.
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