Maybe I'm dumb, but I don't get it. Seems like this is not the actual ending and there's more to come. Perhaps the story isn't finished?
Your descriptions of setting and surrounding was quite good, and I was able to picture everything as John drove to work, but John himself remains a little vague. As were his co-workers when he finally got there.
No spelling or grammatical errors that I noticed, however, the story leaves me feeling rather unsatisfied, if that is actually the ending. I'm hoping there's more.
This is an excellant, excellant (I like that word) essay! You have a real flare for satire and you are a master of sarcasm. I like the way you slip it in, almost unnoticed, which has a way of leaving the reader (me)in stitches.
Yes, I want to be a writer, too. I especially like schlepping around in my pajamas and eating cornflakes at my desk.
This really made me laugh. If I didn't see a different name at the bottom of the page, I could have sworn it was from my sister, who lives in a similar dreamworld! Right on top of things, our Marci! Especially where her children are concerned. That was cute, the 8K race in 45 minutes - she should have walked; it would have only taken her half an hour.
I found no problems, no errors - virtually nothing to complain about, alas, except the fact that I laughed my butt off. Excellant read! I loved it. Thanks for the entertainment.
Excellant piece, Sheng! It needs work and some polishing in the area of grammar and spelling, and your format of delivery is a little daunting, but it's a delightful read. Also, your liberal use of descriptive adjectives makes the scene very vivid in the reader's mind. I can see Miss Marie's predatory leer as she approached you with the scissors.
Tidy it up and if you'd like, let me know so I can come back and read it again.
Once again, thank you for the enjoyment. Much appreciated.
- Rach
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