I really enjoyed your poem. I like the way you combined Greek mythology with something as modern as riding the bus, it was unexpected. I definitely felt the longing and disappointment of a missed opportunity. I also could relate to the way that we all sometimes are able to envision a whole life with a person that we've only gotten a quick glimpse of. Thanks and keep up the good work.
I look forward to reading more. In spite of some typos, unclear grammar, and unnecessary changes in verb tense, the story and the characters have really sucked me in. You definately have the talent, you just need a good dictionary and a book called "Elements of Style" to clean up your writing.
Love it! Love it! Love it! I was a little confused at first as to where the story was headed. You could have left out the stuff about your parents because they were sort of irrelevant to the humor and the jist of the piece. Also, mentioning them confused me about your age when you discussed having facial hair. However, that was no big deal because it was still hilarious. Plus, having lived in Manhattan and shopped at Saks, I can totally relate. Keep up the good work!
Wow. That was totally unexpected. I really liked the imagery used to describe her emotions, such as "realisation poured into my mind like a damn breaking . . .". The twist at the end was very original.
I was a little confused when the narrator yells at the spouse for cheating, though. Did the other person really cheat? Or was the narrator just being paranoid?
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your work.
It took me a moment to figure out what the storie was about, but I kept reading because the characters were so interesting. Although the story used a lot of British slang and rugby terminology I was still able to follow it pretty well. Also, it was hilarious. Who would have ever thought of writing a story about turkey wrangling. Great job.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pocohontas73
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:17pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.