\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/philibuster
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by JS Phillips Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
We don't feel grounded before we're whisked off to the past. The setting, to this reader, is vague and boring. Your prose could be cleaned up as well, as there are misspellings and awkward phrasings. Things like "Cody was sleepier than he usually was" means nothing because we don't get a sense of how he normally is. Better set up, better pacing, better character development, and better setting would help this piece immsensely. Start from the ground up. Practice with where we are, then practice putting your character in it, then add in the plot. Once you've done a few rounds of that, blend it all together so it feels seamless.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/philibuster