That was an awesome story. I enjoyed the different perspectives as well. I think it allows the reader to see a scene unfold on Bartimaeus Street from every point of view that is involved, including Bartimaeus himself. But I'm also left with the question of who the Master is?
It was very well written. I thought I would have trouble with the change in perspective, but the transitions were smooth. It was easy to continue the scene in my head. Very well done!
Is this an excerpt? I like it! I'd like to continue reading it; curious about what happens to them. I don't see how a battle breaks out, but I guess that is yet to come. This kind of setting reminds me of Pokemon, but with dragons. And why exactly are the dragons chosen? As pets? As guardians? I did notice some grammar errors, but few and far between. My issue was determining what king of battle broke out.
I love this! The whole time I'm thinking, this is a story about a slacker. I couldn't tell where this was going. I thought maybe he's just an office worker who had a party weekend and doesn't like Mondays. But then he introduced himself. That was great! It all made sense. Everything came together for an awesome punchline effect.
I enjoyed this story. I ended up having to read it like a story, though. When I tried to read it in verse, it didn't sound right. I couldn't follow along. Did the story first come out that way, or was the verse planned? As for the story itself, it was lovely. I don't know what it's like to be a grandmother, but grandson, I am. I've lost two grandparents so far, and I know that the other two will not be far off. It makes me want to call them up and see how they are.
I like this. It's really inspirational. I've always been told just to write and worry about editing after the whole thing is put in writing. I've been trapped in my own thoughts before, not able to put them into words. I also enjoyed the way it was written. What is this style called? I've done it before. With names and such, but never the whole alphabet.
Wow! An old lady robbing a bank. Now that's something. I liked how it didn't describe what she was training for until more than half way through. I like to think that she was their bookkeeper and had gotten fed up with their money laundering. It was simple and to the point. A few articles missing, but that's just me being particular. Lovely read!
That was lovely. I enjoyed it because they made sense. I rarely run into a haiku that makes sense to me. I like to think they are describing a beautiful spring season. What with the rain showers and cats patiently waiting for the birds and all. It's the season for love, as well. Very enjoyable.
Ok. I have to say that this piece is strange. I didn't understand the majority of it. The title makes me wonder if it was some sort of contest entry. It sounded interesting, but understanding the characters and plot were difficult. I'd like to know more, if you care to enlighten me.
Very good! I didn't catch on that it was a vampire until the end of the fourth verse. It was dark, but thrilling at the same time. I don't, however, understand the last line. It sounds like it should say "...to her blood laced with gin." But it makes sense anyway. Wonderful read.
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Phenikus
Very funny! *Question: what is braggadocios?