What a story! The beginning drew me in and the plot tension drew me on. This tale is unique throughout. No room for improvement. If there were any typos or misspellings or grammatical errors, I didn't see them. I was so intent on getting to the end, and I wasn't disappointed. I wish I could write something as good as this. Write on, talented author!
If this is based on personal experience, did the ECT treatments help or hurt? I am bipolar. I can empathize. Your thoughts weren't so bizarre that you couldn't write this poem. It's obvious that writing helps. It helps me too, but I haven't written poetry in years. Maybe I should try it again.
I did not see any typos, and I enjoyed reading your poem. Do you write stories, too?
In the second paragraph. you used..............to get to this point.................twice. Good story. Character development in line with plot progression.
It felt like I was walking Maple (path) Road with you, it was so realistic. Your childhood "torment", whatever it was, was cleverly concealed. You learned to endure whatever it was, and prosper enough to mature. You didn't get caught up in using fancy big words, which is one bad trait of mine. I wondered what you saw and experienced on your travels far away, but maybe that's a topic for another poem.
The images this brings to mind are myriad. Your friend was a friend for a reason. How inspiring! Is there a spiritual undercurrent here? Either way, your poem reveals how fortuitous events help us to move on...............without fear.
There's definitely talent here. I'm glad I read it, though I almost didn't because the typeface is so small. If I could, I'd paint a picture with your words. Come to think of it, your words paint the picture for the reader. As a reader, I am awestruck, waiting to read more about the main characters......................I want to know more, but will just have to make do with this vignette. A tantalizing slice of life.
I loved it! Write on. It might have been better had you ended it with "Life lessons from my child!" I am referring to a trait I myself have, that of going on when going on is questionable. "Stop and smell with noses" is priceless!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:44am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.