I really, really like this. Its short and sweet and has a nice flow to it. It was very creative, and I know that I often feel this way when I sit down to write a poem. Some lines seemed to break the flow of the poem, so you might want to read it out loud to yourself and see if you can fix that at all. Other than that, great job!
I really like this. The poem is so true. I wrote a poem like this once. It was really great. The only thing I would suggest is that you not repeat, "A second" so often. I know that is the title of the poem, but it does get to be a little to much. I think you can put it in their a little less, and still get the overall meaning and effect of it. Hopefully this was helpful. Great job though. Keep it up.
This is really great. You really have a way with words. The words all just flow beautifully together. The overall message that you portray is great. Keep on writing. I cannot find anything wrong with this poem at all. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Well I would really appreciate if you would continue this. It does need a bit of polishing up though. I didn't see any grammatical errors, but you need more to draw the reader in. I am a bit confused on the setting, considering the characters have cars, but yet you make them sound like they are very remote place. Try and see if you could clarify that a bit more. Other than that its got potential.
Wow this was really really good. You have such an amazing way with words, so the characters seemed to just come alive and I felt like I was right there in their home. I love how you incorporated so much of the characters' culture into the story and tied in the perfectly with the new and the old. I saw a couple grammar errors, but other than that it was perfect. Again, great job.
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