Hello and thank you for the privelage of reading your work today. Please remember I review as a reader only, I am not a professional and I make mistakes of my own. I am here only to offer my opinion take what you want and leave the rest. This review is done on the part of SIMPLY POSITIVE, PAPER DOLLS, WDC FRONTLINERS, AND THE WRITER'S ACADEMY.
My Overall Opinion: I thought this was a cute little story. I can definitely understand how someone can know little to nothing about tech stuff. I happen to be one of those peeps. Lol. There were a few small errors but we can get to those later.
My Favorite Line: Everyone and their dog had one, which was where the trouble started. The most technologically challenged family discovered the Crackberry messenger!
This is my favorite because it fits me so well. Lol
Errors: Nelly who happily uses an i-phone which was a hand me down from her brother wished it would remain like that. Maybe switch to “I-phone that was a hand”
with a clear reception. Leave out the a
per-paid pre-paid
I don’t blame him, it was a good will gesture on his part{,} but if landing in the wrong hands it becomes an accessory even the devil can’t do without. The if makes it sound off. Just my opinion.
Beneficial garbage you spelled those wrong.
You have great potential. Don’t worry everyone makes mistakes. Those who say they don’t probably make the most. LOL You should check out The Paper Doll Gang. Here is the link
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If you decide to fill out the application please let them know I lead the way for you. Thanks for the privilege of reading your work.
Stopping in for a review of Time Bomb from the WDC Frontliners group.
You have a very short and sweet poem here. It is not long nd drawn out and yet it gets right to the point. I believe you have done a great job. Keep in mind I rfeview as a reader only I am not a professional nor will I ever say that I am. I did not see anything I would have changed. I believe with what you were trying to say you did just fine.
Thank you for allowing me access to your port. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!!
This review has been given by a member of Paper Dolls, Simply Positive, WDC Frontliners, and The Writers Academy.
Hello just stopping b with a review of On the Way to Grandmother’s House.
My overall opinion: Very interesting story. There are quite a fewlessons to be learned from this story. I really enjoyed reading it, and I belive I have a lot of things to think about because of it.
Thank you for reminding me of the important things in life. I could not have asked for a better read this morning.
REMEBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!!
P.S. Thank you for allowing me to read your wonderful work.
This was also a from a Simply Positive Newbie Reviewer.
MY FAVORITE PART: This one really hit the spot for me. It was like you were wrtiting it just for me. I have felt the same way on many occasions. I want to stop wanting, I want to stop thinking, stop feeling, stop living and mostly just stop Hurting.That part is more true for me than anyone could ever imagine.
MY LEAST FAVORITE PART:I can't write anymore of what I feel, Please do not say that. What you feel is sometimes the best thing to write. Also it can help you feel so much better.
MY FAVORITE PART: Well lets see.... It is very difficult to pick a favorite part but if I had to choose I would say (Of rejoicing in the cool currents as we float towards our destiny)
MY LEAST FAVORITE PART: N/A There is nothing to put here since I enjoyed the whole thing.
Remember These are just my opinions take it any way you want to. Please remember though that you have a wonderful talent and don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!
P.S.Thank you for the privilage of reading your work. It was a wonderful experience.
This was a good read. I didn't see any spelling errors, or grammatical errors. I really can't say I had a favorite or least favorite part. I enjoyed it all.
REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!!
P.S. Thank you for the privilage of reading your work.
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A few spelling and grammar corrections to be made other wise great work. Line by line below:
Dreams, expectations and promises, all are present in our mind. When they[‘]re shattered, its the end of the world, or it seems so for a while. It would be better if it were the end, but life makes us move forward. We have to start all over again, making new dreams, new promises. All we can do is just sit there and wait till they[‘]re broken. That[‘]s how life treats you- miserably. Your tears give it the happiness you were lacking. Your end is better, no matter how it comes to you. There is no difference in dying peacefully or with bloodshed. The main thing is that you are no longer there, you are no longer trapped. You are free to fly. Your words and wishes have meaning then. They count as something[,]instead of period. With death you achieve something that life had never offered. A chance for yourself without any sacrifices. By giving up life, you are reborn into one that is beyond your imagination. After death, comes life.
I don't do biographies so I am not sure what to say. It wasa good insight into the life of another. I was able to see that Jessie's life was not a perfect life. Her family had problems. I did not see any grammatical errors, however I am not very good at grammar myself. I believe you did a good job. Maybe a few more descriptions to make it a little longer, but otherwise good job.
REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!
P.S.Thank you for the privilage of reading your work.
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I see absolutely nothing wrong with the writing, You have done a wonderful job. I am sorry about what has caused you to write such a sad poem, but I am glad that I was able to read it. thank you so much for allowing us to be a part of your life. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!
This is a good poem. I enjoyed it. You definately have a talent for making words form art.
My favorite part is:
Life is a mystery,
Yet to unfold.
My least favorite part:
Life is an end,
To everlasting joy!
Why would life be an end to everlasting joy? Shouldn't it be a begining?
Excellent job on the poem. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!
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Great quality writing. Making someone feel how the characters feel is a great talent to have. You definately have that.
Characters: Great description. You can feel the pain the woman is in towards the end as she remembers how her sweet daughter came about, and the sacrafices she had to make in order to keep her.
Setting: beautifull described, You have a talent for describing surroundings. I could almost taste the sea. You really made me feel like I was on the beach with her.
Plot: I honestly can't wait to see how it all unfolds.
I thought it was well written. I would have gave you a five but you don't have a title yet. Once you give it a title I will be more than happy to come back and change my rating. You have a great talent. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND READING!!! ALSO HAVE FUN
Great job. My favorite part was the whole thing. It is wonderfully written for being so short. Beautiful words. I can not wait to read more. REMEMBER KEEP READING AND WRITING AND HAVE FUN.
Good Job. I enjoyed reading it. I am not one to be able to point out grammar mistakes or anything so I will not try. Overall impression was a very good story. I didn't notice any spelling errors, however I was more into reading than noticing little things. That is very good when you can drag domeone so far into the piece that they don't notice certain things like spelling. KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN
Wonderfully written. So true how we feel about our children. I think every parent goes through the worry and panic that something bad is going to happen and hurt your beautiful child. I belive you did a wonderful job portraying that feeling.
My questionis about this line:
When you were Born I wanted the intense pain to cease
Is there a specific reason born is capitalized? Other than that I think you did perfect. KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN
Short and sweet. I like it, but it sounds like the begining to something left unfinished. Is there anything else you could say about the rose. Like
Beauty eminates as each petal unfolds, just as we unfold to reveal our beauty. I am not a professional, however I belive you could make this into more than it is. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN.
p.s. Please do not take what I said as anything bad. I meant nothing but good things
You say a lot with so little. It is wonderful. I really enjoyed reading this poem. However I would not have put such large spaces between each line. You have great talent, Remember Keep Writing and Have Fun.
Also thank you for allowing us to read your beautiful words.
WOW I KNOW THESE REVIEW ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPFUL, BUT THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW IS WOW. KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!!
THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO READ THIS
I really enjoyed this. I only saw one thing I would have changed and that was in thi line:
It does not have the answers or gives you sound advice.
I would have put changed gives to give. Otherwise it is excellent art. I love being able to put pictures in my head while reading and you did a wonderful job of making that happen for me. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
P.S. Thank you for allowing us all to read your work.
Excellent poem just a few corrections could be made in my opinion. Capital letters for one. Also in the second to last section you put if you don't got it right. Should that be if you don't get it right. Other than those few things I think you have an excellent piece of art. REMEMBER KEEP WRITING AND HAVE FUN!!!
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