I like the concept a lot, although i think the writing could be better. For example, you really don't need to rhyme. You only rhymed for the beginning and then stopped.... I don't know, I like being consistent. Also, I understand you feel strongly about the subject but the swears really aren't necessary. Some of the examples I don't understand. Like "Little kids are scared of you and try to run away...." This applies to a shadow, but to life? Same with "You feel like your damaging the way humans should appear." F the poem s about the metaphor of life is a mirror, I think the examples should consistently apply to both. Otherwise, I like the way you ended with the repetition.
I liked it. I was really surprised at the end that the guy was just hearing things, I really thought there was a noise. Anyway, I liked how you included a potential love interest and the best friend. I also thought you did a good job on the characters. I felt like I knew the main character, but not too much. I think it was a good amount of character development for a short story. I liked that you kept the other characters to a minimum, so whenever you mentioned someone by name, I knew who you were talking about.
Overall, it was an entertaining read. It was boring at parts and frustrating that he continued searching for that noise. Also, did think it was dragged out for a little too long, other than that it was good.
Happy 2012!!!
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