Hello! I'm excited for the opportunity to read and review your story "Never meant to be."
Overall Impression: This story resonates because I believe we all have at least one person we fall in love with who isn't meant to be ours, though it is more difficult when the other person isn't in love with us in return.
The dialogue is written in an effective way that brings out the emotion and personalities of the characters. It is nice to see a man freely express his grief as well.
Hello! I'm excited for the opportunity to read and review your story "The Pirate"
HuntersMoon, I have read several of your flash fiction items so I know you are a talented writer. I found this work by genre search and found the title/ description intriguing and was happy to see you were the author as well.
Overall Impression: The amazing descriptive imagery portrays the realistic world of a man who fought for his country and struggles internally with his external wounds.
I can't find anything wrong with this story.. I'd love to see Jessie's face if Thomas succeeds in getting a parrot :)
Characters: Your characters are strongly defined and this adds to the emotional tone.
Dialog: I enjoy Thomas' wit kindness that come through his interactions with himself and with Jessie.
Overall Impression: I found this to be a well-contained moment in the lives of the brothers with just the right amount of their history woven to understand the motivations involved. My only critique would be that I had to read the end several times in order to figure out which brother died, and unfortunately, with both using the same name it still isn't entirely clear. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. On a high note, though, I would entirely be interested in reading a continuation into the aftermath.
Plot: My thoughts were that this would be a lesson about not judging others that still resonates through the revenge angle.
Scene/Setting: The imagery of the church and it's grounds are perfect. One of my favorite descriptions in this story is that of the startled birds.
Grammar and Mechanics: The only technical item I noticed was "wreck less", that I would change to reckless.
Thank you for sharing your story with the WDC community. Write On!
The title is interesting and the storyline makes me want to continue reading to find out what happened to these people in the past and how Zeek isn't really dead. The characters are believable as well as the interaction between them. My only request would be to describe the place where they are gathered (which you may have done in the next chapter)
Mirage Moon
**WDC Power Reviewers**
I definitely like the concept of this story. Good emotional connection. There are a few changes I would suggest: Delete "from its owners" from para 1- distracts from being a child later. Moving para 3 after para 4 and changing "He travelled SLOWLY" to steadily. It would be nice to have a little more description of the child without giving away the surprise. And he should sense not guess the beings are the parents to flow with the rest of the story.
I am encouraging you to continue writing this and other stories.
My friendly critique(to take to heart or disregard as you see fit):
The first sentence "It was pure agony, the next hours at school."- seems odd to me, maybe if you wrote it more simply as The next few hours at school were pure agony.
Then in the section of a paragraph highlighted below I found myself confused and distracted from the story. You mention a name, Sam, but it is unclear (possibly because it is only an excerpt) who the narrator is rushing to see. The sentence about the calendar seems too long. I understand the narrator was questioning whether or not the calendar had been changed, but it took me several times reading it to do so. I was baffled by the last sentence about the picture of him that didn't look like him? and made them wonder about what he was like before...before what? I believed you were trying to portray that it was an older picture of the young man/boy the narrator was so worried about.
This story has wonderful potential...keep at it!
and thank you for sharing it.
Questions I had while reading..which may be answered within the full story:
-I read it as the narrator is female, but this may not be the case
-Why is the narrator worried about the other character?
-What is the relationship between them? It is apparent that they have different parents, but that is all.
-How had she seen him just hours earlier when she was supposedly at school all day?
["The calendar with the days that Sam’s nursery or whatever he went to during the day had finally been changed to January, but I couldn’t remember if that had been since I left the house earlier that day or if it was still unchanged then also. The picture of him that didn’t really even look like him was hanging up near the calendar, his sleeveless shirt making me wonder exactly what he was like earlier."]
This piece is a good snippet of a character's life. I could imagine the unwritten part of their lives and love they had once had together. You gave clear impressions of who they are as humans and I got a "cold" feeling about the story that I hope was intentional because it reflects the reality of life and how some relationships really are. Spelling and grammar seemed good as well.
Thank you for sharing.
Overwhelmingly sweet and sad story at the same time. Very well written and scary too because of how realistic it became (in light of recent actual events), Great characters, No obvious grammar or spelling errors that I could see.
Were you writing from experience or creativity?
Wonderfully told tale. Short and sweet. Unique storyline. Your characters were very believable and I did not notice any word or grammar errors that created stumbling blocks as I read.
I can tell why you were awarded as a Rising Star! Congrats! Keep writing and I will check back for more...
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Overall Impression: This story resonates because I believe we all have at least one person we fall in love with who isn't meant to be ours, though it is more difficult when the other person isn't in love with us in return. 
