Very engaging and humorous dialogue with several clear but not overwhelming, references to popular culture and the digital age (just google it).
My only suggestion (even though it was probably restricted due to the contest) would be to extend the dialogue on the proper uses of language and terms as I found you really brought up the absurdity of the whole thing compared to the universe around us.
Regardless this was great and really made me smile!
I enjoyed "Quiet" for its simple and effective vocabulary choices. So many people have felt inferior for their shyness and this poem clearly demonstrates its effects on our interior thought processes.
The rhyme scheme of AA/BB/CC... gives the poem a quaint musicality and renders it even more enjoyable to read and reread again.
My favorite line has to be, "I hate it when they try to help/And just confirm my wish to melt" it's such an interesting thought and conveyed in so few words.
The only suggestion I could think of at the moment (and I don't mean to mention this to detract from your poem or change your original meaning/etc.) would be to include more imagery and/or similes to further express your experiences dealing with shyness and pinpoint them with visual examples.
Regardless of this minor suggestion your poem is incredibly well written and makes me want to read more of your work!
Very alluring poetry with perfect iambic pentameter that fits the Shakespearean sonnet form you set out to achieve! I love your choice of diction which feels, when reading, as if you were watching a crowd of ballroom dancers sway and rotate with grace. This is also aided by the choice of Iambic Pentameter as well. Finally, your nature imagery is incredibly vivid and well-expressed.
Fantastic subject matter that greatly drew me in from the first line and kept me there till the end. I love the continuity and the orderly flow of your ideas and the humor with which you poke fun at the over-analysis of life's big questions (at least that's what I got from your poem).
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mightypensword
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:33am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX1.