"Unfortunately it came to an unexpected end" perfectly describes how this story ends. A great build up for vore, but fails to fully deliver in the end. This story ends up falling into the mediocre vore category that we see all too much of. It abruptly ends in a lackluster way after the main guy is swallowed and leaves you wishing there was more. 3/5
Is that all? This storys description makes this sounds like we will get an internal journey, but the reality is more like the journey into natashas friend, not through her. I would say to make sure the description accurately reflects what the content of the story is. It does have potential. 3/5
A fun story, but lacking on the vore part. Be nore descriptive on his journey through his fiancee. If your desire is to write erotivore or semi ero vore, you get most of it when you describe and write out the preys experience inside the pred. Otherwise the story tends to fall on the casual side of vore. Abit mediocre. 3/5
She was heartbroken ben went through her digestive systen, abd we are heartbroken that all that it took to describe that was 5 sentences instead of 5 paragraphs. This story had so much potential, but it falls alittle short at the end. 2.5/5
You did alittle more than most in regards to vore, but yoy could have done more with the stomach scene. Describe what its like in there. How did their time go? Make it a story. Its abit ofa splash of cold water to end it there when you could do so much more. 3/5
I enjoyes the dialogue and the mouthplay, but was disappointes that it ended there. You miss out on alot of potential by ending it at the stomach. Go into detail about it: what was it like in there? How did his night go being slowly digested? How far did he get? You could do so much more with what you have. 3/5
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mesovereign
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 5:47am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX2.