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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/melizabeth
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3 Public Reviews Given
32 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Wounded Wings  Open in new Window.
Review by Melizabeth Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love:
1) the beginning alliteration
2) the imagery cast by the contrasting words "majestic" and "crow"
3) The line "A new pace to a swollent but beating heart" -- lovely, lovely, lovely!

I would suggest for improvement:
1) Rethinking the line "He would rather winter bring him an empty heart". That image is a bit trite and rather overused.
2) If you make Mother Nature a person, then you should capitalize it.
3) Changing the word "better' before days (in line 21) to less common, more visual adjective.

I have read thousands upon thousands of poems; therefore, I feel I am qualified to say this: you are a very talented poet with a knack for rhythm. You just need to practice (write more!) and carefully steer away from the trite and proverbial.
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Review of Honorable Mention  Open in new Window.
Review by Melizabeth Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is SUCH a cute poem! I most certainly have felt that way sometimes. =)
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