Very nice sense of despair and no hope at the end. It started strong and immediately had me curious to the end. This short story could easily be stretched out as I wondered who she was and where she was and why she was there. Your descriptions were brief but said so much it was easy to picture in my head. Great job!
Hello all you lovely writers. I am a newbie to writing.com and haven't checked everything on the website out yet, but what I have seen so far has been great. I enjoy reading other writer's work and having them read mine. I have to say I really like getting advice in the reviews, it is amazing how much that helps see your writing from a different perspective. I am not a full time writer, but rather someone who has dabbled in it since I was a kid.
I am looking forward to meeting and reading many new authors.
This made me smile in appreciation as I read. The county fair brings back memories of hot dogs and cotton candy for me also, I still crave it every year when I hear the word "fair" mentioned. Thank you so much for sharing such a lovely piece.
Loved the twist ending because now I am left wondering who was watching who. Your descriptions are nicely worded and easy to picture in my head and the story flowed well. The story had plenty of intrigue to keep me reading until the end, and leaving me wanting more. I love how you fit so much into this little story. Great job!
This is some great advice for writing because the advice is so easy to follow, yet so easy to forget. We all want to sound smarter sometimes and like to toss around those higher price words, but they don't make you sound any smarter if the reader does not understand them. Reading should be enjoyable, not a chore. Great work.
This was a very interesting and unique story. My first suggestion would be to break down the paragraphs more, it will make it easier to read and less confusing. Right now it seems wordy, but if you break it down into more paragraphs I think that will go away. Otherwise, I enjoyed it. Good job.
I really like your stories and how you leave them in an awkward position. This story was funny and the end was not what I was expecting out of Santa. Your writing flows very well and is enjoyable to read. Well done and am looking forward to reading more.
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