You must be care of your spelling. Correct spelling helps the reader understand your thoughts and feeling as you write with little effort. That makes reading your story a more enjoyable event. Make sure you capitalize proper nouns such as, names. Lastly, when you type be sure to leave a space after you punctuate with a period, comma, question mark or exclamation point. If I were grading your story today, it would be a C+.
Jsureemee, you should write the first sentence as his brother and best friend, Mike, are going camping. You should also think about describing the campgrounds before you tell us it takes two hours to get there. It may help build suspense in the reader's mind and make the trip worthy while.
Once they get to the camp, isn't there a check in process. You may want to describe how their cabins are assigned or do they sleep in tents? Do they have to meet the counselors, take a tour, or have orientation before they swim, so they know the rules. These added aspects will add depth to your story plot.
Think about developing and describing your characters, as well, physically and mentally.
I know this is a work in progress. You need to be careful about your sentence structure. I think the story is great. I also like that you are being very descriptive in telling of your story. However, you have many spelling errors and you are missing periods in parts of your story where it is clear there should be a period. Please go through your story and check the spelling before you move on to finishing your story. Thanks! Ms. D
You storyline is great. I am loving the plot. It is difficult to read because you do not put spaces after you punctuate. Before you type the rest of your story go back and add those spaces. Also, if there are direct quotes, meaning someone is actually talking in the story, then you need to put a comma after said and add quotation marks around what is being said. Thanks! Ms. D
Be careful with your spelling, for example, you spelled just as kjust. Also, remember to hit your space bar after you place a period in your writing. I enjoyed reading what you have so far; however, it is difficult to read with the spaces missing after the period because everything runs together. please fix this before you type anymore of your story. Thanks! Ms. D
I enjoyed this poem. Keep writing! I recently lost a loved one whom I was very close to. It is at these times when you think about life and how important it is. Your poem brings to the forefront how valuable savoring life can be. How rewarding enjoying the moments, memories, and experiences life brings our way. Thank you for your insight.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mdavis0213
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 12:36am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
