wow. this is wonderful. i love poetry. i write it myself to let out emotions, nothing more. i'd work on dividing your poem into stanzas, but you really don't have to. and sometimes the rhyme feels forced. your poems don't have to rhyme you know. i hardly ever rhyme in my poems.
wonderful, wonderful job. i love it.
honesly, i've found i come really easily to tears. i usually hold them back until i just can't hold them anymore.
Wonderful poll. I am glad I am not alone. I use my writing to escape reality. It helps us get into our own writing state of mind. Great Question!!
MaryKate
Wow. This was wonderful. I have no advice for this, except, in the sentence, 'Everything was in a state of decaying being,' is the word being needed? It sees like it is refering back to the word state, but with state in the sentence it isn't needed. Wonderful Job.
Love, MaryKate
I really enjoyed this work. I await any additions you plan to add. I would suggest spell check. I use a word document to write all of my works, that way there is spell check and another location to refer to. (just in case it becomes lost) I would add the same characterization and detail to this work as I suggested in dragon riders begin. I really like reading your works and await your next piece, MaryKate
You have an interesting plot. Your work has an interesting relation to another published book that I have read. You must understand why I have given you the rating of 2.5. Pretty much this is it: Your characters seem lightly developed, as do your setting(s). I would suggest adding more detail to characters, settings, objects, ect. The sword that was made is an easy place to add detail. I would suggest you re-read your work and fix spellings and added letters. I too like to make up my own names, but your names make reading difficult. I would suggest names that aren't stumbled upon as much; Simple names are just as important as longer ones.
I have a similar work, The Destroyed that you might be interested in reading. You might be able to get some common ideas as well as some new things. I ask that you not recreate any of my ideas in any kind of your works. You must understand I say this because this work is unusally very, very similar to a published book, which is NOT a good habbit to get into. Using other books for inspiration isn't bad, but recreating the plot and occurances can be costly.
I thank you for the opportunity to read your work. Keep writing, I'll be awaiting your next work. I have enjoyed reading this!
"Dream Up Your Own Reality!"
MaryKate
Interesting Lick...I too sometimes create licks similar to this. It seems as you lick is...how should I say...unfinished. It doesn't have a place really. It doesn't finish a complete thought or emotion, or at least to my opinion. I found my writing improved with time, and I'm sure yours will also. Your work has it's own unique qualities, and don't ever think it's worth less than priceless when others may call it so. Thanks for the kind rating and review, MaryKate
Wow! This is very inspiring. I believe it is people like you who inspire people to stand up and do some good in the world. Your kindness toward your reviewers and generosity towards the thrid-world contries which you contribute to is very inspiring. It is people like you who are the beginning spark for a flaming fire. I pray you will always stay hopeful and safe, MaryKate
Amazing! I loved it! Didn't your english teacher didn't like it? Why? Personally, it is your poem and she can't judge your work. It isnt' right. Just like u can't judge people's voices(having a chorus moment) they are all gifts from god and are amazing. I loved it. Your Biggest Fan, MaryKate
I loved your story. I too am writing a fantasy story. I loved the detail to personallities, but places and people's physical features would help your reader's visualize the people's differences. I await your next addition. It was a wonderful story! -Mary
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