I enjoyed this poem because there is no "smoke and mirrors," just your feelings bare and open for everyone to read them. This poem tells your feelings without needing fancy words or exaggerated explanations. It's power is in its simplicity, and I enjoyed that.
This is a well written piece; the pace and flow of the story is good and you did a particularly good job in dissecting and showing the character's feelings and thoughts. The beginning, when she is staring at the dead body and all these thoughts are running through her mind, is well written, giving the reader a good glimpse into the character's mind set. At times, the writing seems to be slightly mechanical, and reads more like a step-by-step guide than a story, and could use another edit to smooth it out. You did an excellent job in pacing the story and moving it along. In the end, when the the main character reacts nonchalantly to her neighbour's reaction was brilliantly done;those few words held a lot of impact! This was a good read.
This story is an example of a writer who knows how a character truly feels, and better yet, you show the reader. In fact, finding the exact words to praise your skills is difficult as none quite reflect the talent you seem to possess. Please keep writing!
Your story was interesting and very well written; you have a talent for capturing a reader's attention and moving a story along. The descriptive language made the whole experience feel real and made it easier to identify with the characters. This was a fun read!
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