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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/manny_c030513
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of And Then  Open in new Window.
Review by Manny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Easy to read and designed well enough to keep thoughts flowing smoothly, transitioning from concrete to abstract thought. It's dark, but not pervasively dark. It also feels like the subject is making a mockery of life. The ending is a sound finish because it provokes thought of what happens after death. Very nice poem.
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Review of Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Manny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
It's a bit dry, not as inspiring or powerful as it could be. Think about it, who clicks in deep thought about who they are and says "I will go on a journey"? In any case, I did notice the clever word play throughout the poem by switching "I" and "am", sometimes changing present tense to future tense. I would recommend painting a better picture - add more detail and make it sound relatable to your readers.
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Review of Dear Darling  Open in new Window.
Review by Manny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Encouraging, but I recommend strengthening the poem's abstract thought. For example, I understand the subject is sad, but I can relate more to the subject by adding a reason to be sad. What I did enjoy is picturing the words coming from a loving figure like a mother. There are also grammar errors that need to be fixed.
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Review of Beyond  Open in new Window.
Review by Manny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great poem, I like the message and the structure is concise. The absence of background information adds an element of mystery of what the prisoner did to repent. The prisoner could represent other people we know around the world or even represent a thought such as living in other parts of the world, maybe life itself. I'd like the poem to add more elements of emotion through comedy and romance to give it 5 stars, but nonetheless it's a nice piece of work.
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