vey good story, it was also disturbing, as it showed how unfeeling people can be. the term "no good deed goes unpunished comes t mind for this story. since sasha had done nothing but live and was kiled for being alive. i was wondering if you made her death pointless on purpose since she hadn't done anything. this shows how our world is today a very dangerous and desensitized place. the bag bo might as well be a robot that was ordered to kill her. this is what makes your stor so disturbing, it could actually happen to anyone at anytime and anywhere.
you know you could make a comic with this, or t least a fantastic book this seems like an interesting campfire later on i may just join and your explanation to those who don't know Ragnarok like myself is clear and detailed enough without getting overly complicated. Ia slo see he potential for a video game or movie as well. keep giving complete newbies like self, explanations like this and you'll have a lot of people in your campfire
excellent story, good narration and pace. but you stop a bit to aburuptly This is a good tactic to keep people wanting more but you should add abit more just for good measure. the story is good it ends a bit oddly that's all. and you should make smaller paragraphs in order to make it easier for people to read this great story. people tell me constantly about things like this in my writing, so you are not aloe otherwise you are a good writer i hope this adice makes you even better in the future.
i like how ou used the sibling taboo in this story i find it a fincating and exciting story. it makes sense since in the wild there is inbreeding so having lycanthrope brother and sister mating together isn't aat all strange. you should make a book about it.
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