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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/magical
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41 Public Reviews Given
108 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of under the bridge  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Keep up the good writing.
2
2
Review of Wednesday  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think the first 4 lines need to be changed a bit. Keep writing.
3
3
Review of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am sorry for your friends loss. I have asthma also so I understand the great dangers it can bring to life. Keep up the good work. My prayers goes out to your friend and their family.
4
4
Review of Invisible  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can relate to this writing because I do the same thing so that others dont come up with something that isnt really what it is. Keep up the good work.
5
5
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
As I was reading this poem I could only think of myself on how sometimes I say a lot of things that I really didnt mean only out of anger. You did a great job in expressing that. One suggestion:

Am I writing a poetry: I was thinking, Am I writing a poem or Am I writing poetry. Just my suggestion.
6
6
Review of Fears  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I understand exactly how you feel in this poem. When my husband was deployed I felt the same way. Keep up the good writing.
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7
Review of Purple Roses  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I really didnt understand the meaning of this writing. If you can please write me back so that I can get a better understanding of it.
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8
Review of Kelly is love  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I think that you could have expressed more on what you felt in this poem. This is still a good item. Keep up the good work.
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9
Review of Waiting  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
This poem touched me in many ways. For one, this poem reminds me of what I am currently feeling towards my husband. He is deployed and this poem describes just about every emotion that I am having. Anyone who has loved someone knows the feeling of wanting something to either return to you or love you back just as much as you love them.

Write On!
Lyric
10
10
Review of You Hurt Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

This is a raelly good poem. I think most women can relate to it. No matter what we do or say, it still seems as if a guy doesn't know when to realize that they're causeing you pain. I have a few suggestions:

"and even then" I think 'and' should be taken out and capitalize "even"

"and finally" And

"as i drop" I

"But you," remove the comma

Write On!
Lyric*Smile*
11
11
Review of I Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,

I can relate to this poem a lot. The one person you think you can trust hurts you in every possible way. Nice poem. Just one suggestion:

"what it felt like to live in, of and for every moment" perhaps re-wording it a bit. It threw me off a bit.

Write On!
Lyric
12
12
Review of Letter  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
It must have been hard to let go something you grew accustomed to. I know how it feels to lose someone you love to another. It hurts, really bad.

"My life, my family my world." perhaps a comma after family.

Great work,
Lyric
13
13
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This seems a little personal. To whom ever this is about I hope that things get better. You shouldn't spend your days crying eventhough it may be hard. As long as you know they are in your heart then they are still there with you.

Lyric
14
14
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a nice poem. I think that everyone wished they could take back certain things. It is very important to tell your loved one how you feel because you never know when they will leave. This poem is a perfect example of how we spend more times aruing about nothing when we can just say "I love you".

Write On!
Lyric
15
15
Review of No more tears  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Monique,

I love your work!

"Than I started to get mean" 'Than' should be 'Then'

Lyric
16
16
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is so powerful. Maybe you should label it as a poem since it i sset up like one. One suggestion:

"Now I love in my heart" I think that you should add 'have' after 'I'.

Lyric
17
17
Review of Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyric Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Once again, nice lyrics. Two suggestions to make.

"How long with the storm clouds stay" I think 'with' should be 'will'.

"Tells me that’s there's some " I think 'thats' without the 's' would sound better.

Lyric
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