I understand and like the idea behind the poem. The only reason I didn't give this poem a higher rating (like 5) is that it didn't flow for me. Also, there were some stanzas which seemed forced or didn't make sense to me.
This simile had me scratching my head:
"Just like an infant demanding to be fed, I pushed you away; I understand why you fled."
I've had two infants and they did not push me away when they are demanding to be fed--the pushed me away when they were tired and cranky. Did you mean that the person was too needy? But then why push someone away?
And this stanza seemed stilted to me: "You play it well, an expert with my heart. You make love an incredible art."
But, I totally get the idea behind the poem. Keep on writing!!! =)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ltanaka
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 7:45am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.