Your words give birth to beautiful imagery. It reminds me how fragile and fleeting life can be. I can't imagine losing my sight I don't think I would be mature enough to deal with it so eloquently. However having someone love you regardless is worth all the senses put together. Great job I think you should write more!
The story is interesting but I found myself asking too many questions. There are so many particulars that are left out that it left me hanging a bit. Not that the story is bad it just needs some meat. Some examples: why was the character pushing open the door of a house that she doesn't know (it made sense once I realized she was dreaming). Also she said she walked into a dark room (living room, dining room, kitchen?) How was she able to see the pictures if it was dark was there light? Also what was the guy by the fireplace wearing? Does his features change with the firelight, bedroom light, bathroom light, mythical light? Was she scared of him intrigued by him? Was she stressed from the day before going to sleep?
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lrjames19
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 6:15am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
