I thought that your approach was very original. At first she seemed to be daydreaming and then the city began to take on a life of its on. I liked your descriptions and the way that you tell the story without using any dialogue, yet still convey her feelings. Nice job.
Very good analogy on happiness and I like your simple statement that "Happiness is as simple as a sunrise or a sunset over a lake or ocean." As your article indicates, happiness is a state of mind. If we are content with what we have, we will be a lot happier. Instead we constantly search for what we do not have and lose sight of what is important like family and friends. Very nicely worded without being preaching. Including the info about Lottery winners was a very good example of what the love of money can do to some people.
I like the movement of your poem and you describe you soul moving through trees and mountains as well as through lives and souls. And how it dances to a music all its own that touches children and older people and survives the triumphs and the tragedies.
I like the line "dancing under moonlight bliss" but you don't indicate who or what is dancing. Example: waves dancing or we were dancing. I like the overall poem but this part was a little confusing to me, maybe not to someone else. I like the deep blue poetic ocean, it brings a image of dark turquoise waves softly lapping against the shore or even a ship. Very lovely poem.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ladybren
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 12:17pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
