Impressions:This is another offering in the suspense/horror area by the author. I enjoyed this poem as well. The author draws good word images.
Favorites:Again it was hard to chose a favorite line or phrase so I will go with a phrase that wrung out an answer from me:
'Smell the sweet scent of decay.
Smile upon the blackened God.
Will you look inside that ghastly door?'
And my answer is an unqualified - NO!
Suggestions:The poem flows well and moves right along. I have no suggestions as the author has already been busy editing.
Summary:In the true horror/suspense style this poem grabbed me and kept me reading even though I was sure I was going to want to go through any door. I like the repetition of phrasing.
It reminded me of the poem, "Little Orphan Annie." 'And the goblins 'ill git ya - effin ya don't watch out." Nicely done!
Closing:I enjoyed visiting this folder and will be back in the future for another look. Thanks for some good chills! Lin
Impressions:This was a thriller/suspense poem that had my skin crawling.
Favorites:It was hard to pick a favorite line or phrase as they all fit together so well, but I loved this one:
'Spreading....
The disease spreads.
Tasting, licking its way through the dying body.
It savors the red cells,
sucking on them like sweet red lollipops.
It strokes the bones,
shivering in pleasure as the marrow drips free into it demonic mouth.'
Suggestions:I love the poem as it stands. I leave all the technical to the experts and base what I feel on what I read.
Summary:The author paints a very vivid and graphic image with her words. You can feel the disease winding it's way through the body - slow and methodical. And you feel the pleasure it takes inflicting damage. The poem flowed nicely for me. While the subject would turn some off for me it sent out a Stephen King alert. Start shuddering.
Closing:You have done a great job creeping me out and painting images for me. I enjoyed reading this poem. Well done! Lin
This is one of the best raffles I have ever seen posted. The items available are terrific and many talented people have contributed. There is an added lure with Ms Kimmie offering a prefessional editing job on any short story in the author's port.
There are also two special categories. Come in and have a look. Well done, Geja!
Impressions:This was a good story. You captured me right away and held my attention through-out.
Favorites:I liked the way you built the tension as the story flowed. And I liked the concept of using that particular medication.
Suggestions:I wish I had some but you have already made some corrections and at this point, I think the story stands on it's own.
SummaryYou made good use of dialogue to move the story along and let us see what the characters are feeling. The story flows well. You give us enough description to easily imagine how people look at the same time as you allow us to actually use our imagination. Motives are well established. And although I felt the main character would be caught out I wasn't sure how you were going to present it so you maintained the element of surprise. You didn't waste any words either. Nicely done.
Closing:
I can see why you were awarded a ribbon for your efforts. Thanks for a very good read. I will be back to read more in your port in future. Lin
I loved reading this and look forward to enjoying more of your port. You have a gift for pulling us in and making us see what you do. I felt I knew this person - it reminded of real people I have known.
He couldn't resist the call of the city's spare wilderness; the busy downtown dressed in Confederate gray with its dizzying heat and sidewalks filled with averted eyes.
I loved that and it is rolling around in my head. Well done.
Hi Kay Ree: This was an easy poem to relate to at my age. Who amoung us has not had a lost love? Who doesn't dissect that relationship?
The poem flowed well and moved right along.
If a soul was to be real, and if it was to have a mate
Then it seems you were mine, what a cruel fate
I loved this.
I saw no errors in grammar or spelling. I am no master at the technical side of peotry so the best I can really do is say if I liked the poem or if it spoke to me. This one did. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:This is a great folder to visit. The items in here are all very personal and a window in to the door of 'Geja.' It is a real pleasure to wander in here. An interesting visit for any reader. Nicely done. Lin
Hi W.D.: Once again you have delivered, with real impact, a great story. I'm not sure that I should say it was a pleasure to read - can you say that about horror? It certainly made my skin crawl and held me in suspense.
I especially loved this:"In his head he heard, “There is a little devil in all of us, Munroe, struggling to get out—some more than others. We are a heartless body, callous and cruel, pitiless and unkind. You are like us--no more than a devil in human form. We have come to take you home.”
Hi Suri: I am not very good with poetry as far as the technical aspects. You did bring out a lot of clear imaging with your words. It was easy to see the scene unfold. I think maybe the word 'peer' should be pier unless you meant it as 'seeing'.
I am very impressed again, with the images and emotion you portray. Keep writing. I found this impressive. Lin
Well done. I was wondering what, if anything, you are going to do with the imformation you compile here. Or is it just for you? I think you covered most of the bases. Welcome to w/c and I hope to see you start to fill your portfolio. I have received lots of good advice from people and my writing has improved greatly since I joined. I hope you have the same experience. Lin
SM: Great idea and timely as well. Many items currently placed in our ports would do just as well in a photo album. Sometimes all you are really wanting to do is share photos with friends on the site. Then there are all the budding photographers around here - they will love this. Well done.
Once again it is time to celebrate with the WC gang and the decorations are wonderful. The entire site is cheerful and inviting. Thanks to SM and SMS for all the effort they have put in. The year has sped by and I look forward to all the events and the decorations are the icing on the birthday cake. Well done. Lin
Impressions:You have a wonderful ability to tap in to and share your love of Jonah and make it universal. You also create moving visuals with your words. You have painted me a wonderful picture and pressed home the meaning of Christmas.
Favorites:I can not chose a favorite line or stanza. I loved the entire poem.
Suggestions:None needed.
SummaryYou share with us the wonder fo being a mother and of creation. This is a gift not just for Jonah but for us all. Well done. Lin
Impressions:My second read in this folder and once again you have me a captive audience.
Favorites:
My son lives up to his nickname, climbing the steps to the slide and jumping on the wobbling bridge that a couple of five-year-old girls are pretending is HOT LAVA. They tell us “you should run really fast across it,” so as not to get burned. Monkey-boy takes this task seriously and flings himself happily forth behind the giggling girls. He is strong and sweet, brave and amazing. I hope I am up to this incredible task of mothering him. I could clearly see this happening in my mind.
Suggestions:I have nos suggestions. There are no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Nicely done.
SummaryThis poem appeals to your senses and anyone who has ever watched children at play, or remmebers their own childhood could easily relate. This flowed well and moved right along and created wonderful visuals.
Closing:Nicely done and a pleasure to read. Thanks. Lin
Impressions:I foudn this a powerful poem that had me caught up in it's theme.
Favorites:
We
have all returned,
the boys and I.
Harsh reality
has
hooked
our long ago dreams.
Fly!
Fly away to your
Never
Never Land,
my
Wendy days
are long since gone Well done!
Suggestions:I have no suggestions. The author has been editing. I saw no errors.
SummaryWith your wrods you created excellant images. It was easy to settle into the reading of this poem. I enjoyed reading it and it made me stop and think.
Closing:I hope that you continue to write. It has been a pleasure. Lin
Impressions:This poem was topical and certainly caught the chaos the world is in right now.
Favorites:
Television a better parent than most
Cause of histories full of abuse and worse Very true.
Suggestions:I am not an expert on poetry but I think maybe line 6 should also have a capital.
Is there a word missing in this line:Poverty a too common of a life - maybe "way"?
honesty is dormat - should this be dormant?
Summary I think this poem flowed well and moved along nicely. Good, clear images are created with your word choices. You can not read this without feeling the same futility and weariness as the author.
Closing:I hope to see much more in your port in the future. Keep writing. Lin
Favorites:I was able to relate to the entire story. I have had many similar moments. The ending was just perfect.
Suggestions:I have no suggestions. The author has been editing already. Well done.
SummaryThis started out with me feeling that I would learn some interesting things about character building. When it flipped in to the frantic thoughts you pulled me in completely.
Closing:Very entertaining and certainly something any writer can relate to. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:The title caught my interest and I am gald that it did.
Favorites:
So my ideas of characters have all been based on many things. They may be lively, soulful, filled with tears or smiles, trustworthy, unscrupulous, loving, or evil. In the end, characters make real what the author thinks of life. Especially the last line here which definitely made me pause to think.
Suggestions:<aybe just a few more examples of how you draw the characters.
SummaryThis was an interesting piece and thought provoking. It can be a good introductory tool for someone wanting to learn about fleshing out characters.
Closing:Nicely done. I really enjoyed reading this. Lin
Impressions:This is a great folder to read if you are looking for good examples of flash fiction. The stories start out good and continue to hold your interest. The author does a good job of pulling the stories together and showing us the characters in a few short words. Well done. I hope you continue to enter stories in to this folder. Lin
Impressions:Another good offering for the flash fiction folder.
Favorites:I really like the way you are able to pull in all together in so few words and make a good read out of it. I had a clear vision of this young woman.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. The story flowed nicely and moved right along.
SummaryThis is proving to be a delightful time spent foraging in your port. I look forward to the next offering. Lin
Hi Tehanu:Welcome to Writing.com. I can see by my first reading choice tht you are a good addition to this community.
Impressions:I enjoyed reading this story about a random act of kindness. You caught my attention straight off and you never lost it.
Favorites:
“I want to give you a present,” Cammy said. “’Cause I think you need one.” With her big serious eyes, Cammy put her hand in her mom’s. I thought the daughter would find it but I was surprised at how and where she found it.
Suggestions:I did not notice any errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation. My only suggestion would be a bit more physical description of the main characters.
Summaryou have done a good job of setting out the story. It was easy to imagine the emotional makeup of the charecters and chaos of that office. You clearly showed the effects of the random act of kindness fulfilling the criteria for the contest. I was smiling at the end of the story.
Closing:It was a pleasure to be introduced to your port and I look forward to reading my next item. Keep writing. Lin
Jeanie: As usual you are putting together wonderful items. This is a great place to come and find things to read and review, or to just get some new images. You support so many people here and are willing to add more links. I think it is a terrific idea for helping out the community as well. Nicely done. Lin
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