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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/knucklesnchaos
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Review by Daedalus Chaos Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Day dreaming lately have you? I have been trained by my poetry class to think about punctuation and stuff so forgive me if i go on about commas and periods.


Actually due to some other critiques I'll just copy and paste your poem (thank God it's short) and you can compare/contrast. I'll also explain why I think this goes there.

My mind's been wandering out on a quest, (i'm not sure you need "a wandering")
my wayward thoughts have so digressed.
Springing upon my mind many a fanciful thought
of pirates, treasures and battles to be fought. ("and" seems to throw me off a little)
Alas! My foul teacher is not quite impressed. ("so" seems a lil redundant)

With a huff and a howl she storms over to me,
"Well, young man, what have we been reading on page three?"
Darting back into action, my thoughts come abounding,
but none to do with Washington's founding.
There's only one choice and that is to flee!

With a dash and a dive, I'm up and away,
to a place where thoughts are free to play.
Ripping out the door into the hall,
straight smack into my principal, Mr Small!
I am a captive, but my thoughts shall be free this day.




Well as you see just minor tweaks, I like your poem, the flow is good and you kept a good rhyming scheme going. Does the rhyming scheme you chose have a particular name? A-A-B-B-A I like it I may write something like it.
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