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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/keiffer
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Review by Keiffer Fysion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I think that this story has a great plot, and the transition from Childhood to Manhood, and through to New Beginnings is wonderful. The fact that you took the time to write a story in this
detail is great too. I love how the character is able to do and fell the things he can. It makes the character unique. The reaction from Max was also great. It made me laugh, and at the same time feel intensely bad for Jake.
Although I believe it might have been more entertaining if you had described or explained what he had done to the three bullies. The reader gets the impression that it
had something to do with the breakage of a fire hydrant, it might appeal to your readers if you would have told them what he had done. Did he somehow angle the water to spay down the
bullies? Or even break the top of the fire hydrant and use it to bludgeon them? You leave the readers at a bit of a mid-story cliffhanger.
Other than that, I give the story a thumbs-up. You write with very good dynamics, and the way you write is unique.
Keep up the good work, and enjoy yourself!
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