After a long time I am reading a poem that is inspiring rather than depressing. This is true life however else you may be thinking. I am 60 but my life has taught me this thing better than anything else. It is said better to repent for having enjoyed rather than sigh for having refused what was offered.
With your (presumed) permission I shall continue with the narration.
then, a spark of a memory crossed my mind and did it pain? Yes, obviously. It reminded me of another instant, when I was engulfed with blue sea, with waves turning golden at a distance. I was neither on Earth, not heaven or not even in hell. I was just suspended in space. Then another idea struck me and put me on Earth, squarely im my own bedroom. Man, I was high on a 'trip'. Ecstacy. Well after this second spark I lost the interest in H & H, Or E. My only concern now was how to tackle my wifey when she motors down early morning from her parents home 500 kms away.
You have said it succinctly in your introduction that you can't remember what it was all about. Well done, that's what your poem is about. Written quite nicely but I don't understand what kings and crowns are doing in your poem. It could be about anything isn't it? But then there is no point in asking you this question since you do not remmeber what it was all about, isn't it?
Concept is very good. The words suggest quite unmistakably the pangs of unceratainty and the frustrations that arise with it. Whichever way you decide to go you are never sure of its correctness and are in a constant dilemma to know if you are going to repent for the choice you made. Actually my life has tought me that it really did not matter in most cases as whichever the choice, the amount of error is more or less the same, but hanging around for the light to show up causes more damage than the choice itself.
A simple straight forward problem with lost love, first or another. It is really a teenage feeling, may be the poet would laugh later on in life. In fact sooner the laughter, better it would be to move on in life, and well love. Simple words do tell their own bitter-sweet story! I would like to read a few lines when the poet falls in love, again.
Actually the poem starts nicely with a lovelorn query, but then sinks to self doubt, blame game, jealousy, despondency, etc. Looking at a picture that seems a bit hazy, the writer should take up a serious hobby, not poetry, but which involves responsibility and then come back to writing serious things.
These are poignant words, giving one a feeling of emptiness, very big one at that. I have empathy for you though I won't title it 'Awakening'. Possibly extinguishing would have been better? This is only a suggestion, I won't disturb your solemn mind.
Possibly, one fine evening, I may feel the same as you!
An OK poem. It seems the author is smeared with poetic exasperation, has that typical feeling of being thrown off and then getting the 'come hither' look. it ohten happens that pen is lying nearby but the spirit is not there. Sometimes, well, the spirit is there but pen is not handy!!
Simply as a poem it is good. The writer seems to be in throes of despondency. This is shown by positive lines like 'I think my heart is ready to love' being followed by inertia in 'But my mind keeps holding me back'. This is repeated in the next couplet as well. If the purpose of writing lyrics is to offload your emotions and be better off in feelings and experiences, then you could write, 'My mind keeps holding me back, But,I think my heart is ready to love'. This could be repeated in other stanzas as well. Try this a few times, muse over and you may start feeling automatically better.
You have a flair for writing so you could write inbspiring and pleasing poetry
This one is a great poetry, of human dreams, aspirations and basically an essential food for the mind on which we all grow into a sort of normal humans. I too have dreamt like this. I think everybody dreams more or less in the same fashion. Perhaps we all make some little mistake somewhere, possibly of dreaming too high. We fall prey to the adage that if you dream of skies at least you will reach the tree top. This really inputs frustration in your mind. Otherwise you need not have grown pensive at bieng plucked. That is instilled into us, too. Why so much importance to sex??? It is just like a hunger or may be thirst or may be wanting to run fast!!!! if you get a cramp, slow down, nurse your leg and then run again....
The problem, Lanee, lies in your childhood inputs, so, get up and be a new person after delearning and then relearning the facts of Life...
I do agree that prayers help, just as meditation would. A calm analysis of the situation would also do the trick. None of these have anything to do with the presence or absence of God. What is essential is absence of egoistic, selfcentered or any other biased approach, or trying to influence the exercise with any such means. If you train yourself to calmly put together all facts and a soft attitude, you will have the 'vision' whether you are learned or not!
A few words, but very truly put down. It definitely makes an impact much greater than many words. It does have a sort of illusory meaning to how we perseive what we perseive. You curse yourself for being non-productive but all the time your subconscious is waiting, learning, and then starting once again. Sometimes you do go on but only to come back to the starting point. You had missed out on something. Your feet are not on a firm ground, you see!
It is quite an hoest penning down of feelings at the bedside of a loved one. It seems to be fatalistic about results, too! Humankind's journey has been through not fatalism but hope and struggle. Try to reallize that God is an idea for the helpless to be more comfortable and give up the hope and struggle. Simply He cannot do anything. The medical interventions have made great strides, that's why we survive till ripe age. As far as feelings go you always have Him to dream about!
A basic valuation of efforts made to sustain independence and celebrations that result from them, a nicely penned lyric. Would it have been more readable if emotions were described in simple words?
Quite emotional. I suppose, this would be your first emotional setback in life, so difficult to bear. But there are two ways to deal with it. One, the way of God, about hich I have very little to say. Other is the way of rationality. Life is full of such setbacks. One deals with it as something that might/could have been avoided; but at what cost? Possibly, one can learn something from this and avoid for yourself such experiences in YOUR LIFE. Finally life has to move ON. You can't wistfully think about the Teddy next door, can you?
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