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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/juneberry
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Light  Open in new Window.
Review by Jaluna Rolik Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem was very easy to read and full of interesting ideas. Reading it gave me a sense of enlightenment in a way, or perhaps more along the lines of a self-satisfaction, even though I'm hearing the speaker telling me the words in the poem. Your grammar is fine, though I don't think you needed to capitalize the word 'tower' in the third line of the fifth stanza. As well, your repetition of the line, "I am the light" is a good way to keep the poem full of inspiration. Your rhyme scheme helps the poem flow well, also- though it did falter at the last stanza. However, that stanza doesn't throw off the flow much at all, and your word choice made sense anyway. Overall, the poem is a very "light" and easy to read poem- and helps encourage people to hold another sense of self-confidence. I like the way you wrote this overall. Good work!
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Review of Haiku to My Baby  Open in new Window.
Review by Jaluna Rolik Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your poetry is very inspiring and thought out. It gave me a gentle feeling, and yet a bit of sadness towards the end. Overall, it is a touching piece that is well written. The only thing I feel needs correction is the second line in the fifth stanza, as it doesn't follow proper haiku format- it is only six syllables, though in this case it doesn't seem to make the flow falter, so it's not that big a deal. Overall, this is a well-written poem that deserved high praise. Good work.
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